I'm not sure what's going on anymore. I'm always happy when I'm with people, but when I'm alone it's like I really am alone. It's almost as if I'm resorting back to my previous life, but I know I can never do that. It was not fun and I don't want to burdern my friends like that again. I'm also confused on this whole situation with Matt. He's my best friend, a true friend, and a close friend. He likes me a lot and I might like him, but we both know things can't change. Both of us don't want to lose our friendship, but what if we can't help but hook up? I don't see it happening right now, but who knows right? Can one actually predict their future? I honestly don't know but I do know that I am really happy when I'm with him. It's something I haven't felt since Brad. I don't want to lose my friendship and I know my friends don't like the idea either. What if it's the only way for me to stay happy though? Will my friends turn their backs on me for maybe chosing Matt? I don't know if I can deal with it.