Classes are over and I'm thankful. The load is fairly light right now. My days will get harder starting tomorrow. I just hope I can do well and keep myself going and positive. I don't need my mind playing tricks on me when it comes to academics, not anymore anyways. My puppy, now called Angus, is a hug success. Everyone just loves seeing him sleeping outside our door. He sleeps in the room when I'm not here or when I'm in bed. He brings some laughter to our end of the hall instead of the constant yelling from next door. Listening to Kelly Clarkson and man does it bring back my past. The song truly reflects my thoughts when it comes to my mother. I don't believe she will ever see how much damage she has done to my self-esteem or my confidence, let alone the ability to trust people. She told me that we should be grateful we have a mother active in our lives. The thing is, she is hardly ever there and when she is, she never lets us make our own mistakes. She won't let go of her children and it's suffocating at times. I am trying to make a mend between us but after this break I don't know if it is going to happen. I just don't want to end up like her, ignoring her mother because they don't get along. I want to be my own person and each time I'm around her, I can't be. I can't be the person I've found at college because it doesn't fit into her plans. Sometimes I wonder if moving to Arkansas isn't such a bad idea.... -Kat- I lose my way And it's not too long before you point it out I cannot cry Because I know that's weakness in your eyes I'm forced to fake A smile, a laugh everyday of my life My heart can't possibly break When it wasn't even whole to start with