This is the first time I've ever had to change the mood on my entry settings. My mom has totally finished me off. I spent yesterday with Matt...and I was safe. I got home and everything that was peaceful and perfect with him was destroyed. Mom is making that other part of me that is all suicidal and depressed really want to kick in now. I have to sell my pick-up and I don't want to at all. My mom is jumping down my back over everything now, that includes being late on doing chores. It's to the point that I'm ready to just quit. I'm ready to quit trying to hold my identity and just full into full Cheryl's little slave mode. If it makes her happy, will that sacrifice of my self identity be worth it? Will it stop the crap and hell she is doing to me? Will she stop making me feel inferero to all...even Matt? I don't know...I need my friends for this...I need Matt. Now I'm the sacrifice You won't try for me no more Though I'm dying to know that you love me I'm all alone -Kat-