Just been thinking about this last week. Seems out of shape when I don't have conversations with my best friend. That does tend to happen when you're fighting and the middle ground isn't going to be touched. I hate fighting, especially with her. I can't get cold and heartless like her. I always end up being the bad guy in the end so honestly, why fight? If I'm a bad person, then fighting is so pointless. Thoughts just been moving through my head. I honestly don't want to think about the fact that everything I've worked hard for when it comes to this relationship may very turn out to be pointless. I use this friendship as a way to get through the stresses I face. However, if it goes, then I guess it goes and I can't apparently do anything else about it. I'm not going anywhere. I'll still be here for support, just I know I won't be getting it anymore in return. I do love how it's all because I couldn't open. When one doesn't feel safe opening up to a person, it isn't just that individual's fault. It is a mix of personal experience and the way the other person is acting, the vibes given off. All these things add up to people tending to keep things to themselves. Why bother people with your crap when you don't want to hear it yourself. I put my problems aside to listen to my friends. I've talked with two friends this week that needed to tell me something and I just let them talk. Listening is always the best support. It also helps to give advice if being sought for and it's good to give support and comforting words in times of break ups and loses. That's my view on friendship. That view tends to be considered "old school". It's how I have been raised and it's how I pick my friends. I thought a lot of people did that as well. It's what I was always told by those people, the ones that say it but in the end back down. Anyways, that is what has been bugging me this week. I leave for Ohio tomorrow around 1 pm. I'm ready. A weekend away from college. Fun times. Spending it at a dance competition with teammates and having fun, that is something worth while. The bonus is that the events are stretched out over 2 day instead of just being held on one day. It really makes it easier to not wear out so fast. Of course I'll probably pass on the fun tomorrow night in Columbus. I have math homework that has to get done and I have to study some for the finals starting the week back from Thanksgiving Break. That's my weekend plans. I just hope OSB isn't a disappointment.