alrite... so most of this stuff is from this book i just finished reading "freewill" by chris lynch. it was an amazing book!!!! seriously was... ok here are parts from it... NoMoreFaith513 (4:23:47 PM): "life, okay. life is a gift. only you can't return it if it doesn't fit right. you just grow into it." NoMoreFaith513 (4:48:58 PM): ....i love humanity, its just people, make me want to puke.... NoMoreFaith513 (4:50:55 PM): ...don't fuck yourself waiting for fair. understand? listening? you will fuck yourself waiting for fair... NoMoreFaith513 (4:53:31 PM): ...and exactly how far gone are you? will you answer? do you know? you cannot let go, will. keep thinking, keep feeling, keep asking and answering us... NoMoreFaith513 (4:57:49 PM): ...you odn't want to take the pills. you don't. for a while anyway, you don't. but without them, there are problems. pain is a problem. related sleeplessness, is another problem. you endure... NoMoreFaith513 (4:58:36 PM): ...you odn't have to, you kno. you don't have to endure anymore pain. you don't have to take the pills you kno this, don't you? you kno this, that the choices are yours, and that there is no predestined anything to stop you, or to start you, doing anything that does not suit you... NoMoreFaith513 (4:58:45 PM): what suits you? NoMoreFaith513 (5:00:02 PM): ...you don't want to take the pillls, and it is good that you odn't want to take the pills. it is admirable that you do not want to take pills... NoMoreFaith513 (5:00:18 PM): ...but do you want to be admired? or do you want the pain to stop?... NoMoreFaith513 (5:00:42 PM): ....and the sound. you could use the peace. couldn't you use the peace, will? wouldn't you like this to stop, even for just a while?... NoMoreFaith513 (5:02:49 PM): "choice, will. it can kill you. it is supposed to be what makes living worthwhile. it is what makes not living an option." NoMoreFaith513 (5:20:56 PM): ....it is slow in coming. you want to help. you want to help the police and the teacher and everybody walking wounded with the sad long faces who so badly want to have all the life-lost teenagers put back here where they belong and you will quietly slip back out in exchange because as you and everone else well knows, you never did. belong... NoMoreFaith513 (5:21:05 PM): ...it is a trade you would gladly make. trade. bring them back. you go in their place. that would be as it should be, you are thinking.... NoMoreFaith513 (5:21:15 PM): ...you are trying to try. trying to just get better.... NoMoreFaith513 (5:27:13 PM): ....the beach, your beach, is not what it was before, and it certainly isn't what it was before that. the celebration has been wiped clean. all evidence gone. all manner of tribute gone. you love that about your beach, don't you? that it just won't put up with it.... NoMoreFaith513 (5:28:00 PM): ....the ocean takes care o fits own business, dumps what it wasnts to on the shore and takes back what it wants. sand castles, flowers, teddy bears or heads and bodies. the wind and tide decide... NoMoreFaith513 (5:28:21 PM): ....and they do not care about intentions. not the cop's intentions or the victim's or the crier's or the reporter's.... NoMoreFaith513 (5:28:36 PM): ...and not yours. you're all wiped clean away. it is not your place anymore... NoMoreFaith513 (5:31:38 PM): ...."no," he repeats, a little stronger. "its not set up, and its not dominoes, will, its life. life is life, and it's not anything else. you get one life. and it's yours, and you are in charge. and all right, somewhere along the line there is a moment when you need more. you need intervention. you need a hand up. every single person hsa this moment, but it is only a moment and after that your life is your life again."... NoMoreFaith513 (5:32:47 PM): ...."call it charity, will, call it love, or call it blind bloody luck, but comes a time when somebody needs somebody else to pull his wagon for him. and you know what? most of the time, life being what life is, that somebody is right there for you."... NoMoreFaith513 (5:34:03 PM): ...do you, will? you will. understnad? agree? give a damn? if you listen, you will kno something now. what are you listening to?... NoMoreFaith513 (5:34:50 PM): ".... and still the days... those lonely days... they go on, and on...." - frank sinatra NoMoreFaith513 (5:36:01 PM): ...he still doesn't understand, does he, will? does anybody, do you suppose? is it even possible, in the end, for anybody to understand anybody?.... NoMoreFaith513 (5:39:02 PM): ...you forgot. one thing, one last thing, falls away. you were not alone. all that time. you were lonley... i looooooove the end part... haha and yeah thats my aim in case anybody ever wants to IM me, so later. enjoy it, sorry its long.