is it just me, or shouldn't friends be the ones to make you happy.. to be there to talk to.. to hang out with... but not to cause you pain or depression.... yeah well thats obviously a load of bullshit. i guess i thought wrong. like i always do. hmm i never seem to be rite anymore.. wonder what's happened to that.. i used to be rite all the time.. and now i'm not.. i never thought friends were supposed to make you depressed.. or sad.. or anything.. i thought they were supposed to help make you happy when your sad.. laugh when your frowning.. all that fun stuff... but i guess the description of a friend has changed over time... or maybe people just see it differently... blahh i don't kno.. isn't it a friends job to kno if your sad or not? isn't it their job to ask whats wrong? to care about whats going on in your life? or are you just supposed to go up to them whenever you need them? yeah well i don't do that.. so i guess nobody cares bout whats goin on with me... but whatever.. thats just fuckin fine with me.. ----------------- is it wrong, that i have two friends over that are gonna spend the nite, and all i want, is to be on the fone with viv and justin? i mean, i love those two, specially viv, i love that girl more than anything and anyone. she's the only one i've told about cutting.. and i think she might stay the only one.. i don't kno.. i mean, i wanna tell justin.. i feel like i'm supposed to or something.. but i don't want him mad at me.. or to hurt himself.. blahh but anyways.. it's so sad.. the two people that i talk to the most.. and care about so much.. i can't even hang out with in person.. and all these people i can hang out with in person.. i don't tlak to as much.. and they don't care... blahh i wish viv woulda called tonite.. or justin.. i don't kno.. either one of them.. just somebody... somebody to talk to.. instead of me feeling so lost, and alone...