i don't really feel like writing much. even though quite a bit has happened. umm friday nite i went to the football game at my skool. it sucked. came home, yelled at ona my friends when she called. yelled at another ona my friends just bout alot of shit. but i meant every word of it. that nite i ended up cutting again. damn. i had been doing so good for a while. but looks like that's over. meh oh well. umm sat morning i woke up and went to karate. i got my orange belt. weee. then came home. lauren called, so she came with me to my aunts. it was really boring. we watched parts of movies. tried to get on the internet. and played some games of pool. i lost four times, the first three i got the 8 ball in too soon, the last time i scratched on the 8 ball. i was talkin to Keith while i was playing. cuz i tried to call justin, but he was asleep, but keith answered it, so i jus talked to him. i got him to take pics of justin while he was asleep. i wanna see those hehe. then went and spent the nite at lauren's house. then sunday morning we decided to go to sam's with my mom to look for glasses. i got some with black on the front, and yellow on the inside, they're crazy cool. then we went to the mall. i got a new shirt, it's really cool, and an earing thingy, and umm red nail polish. we just walked around for a lot of the time. saw some cute guys. then lauren was saying i should say hi to him rite as he passed and he like looked at her, and apparenlty they were lookin each other in the eye. grr she's gonna take my guy. but o well, not like we talked to him anyways. umm then we came home, and so lauren spent the nite. we went to the movies with amanda and lance. i don't kno why, but i really wasn't feeling that good. we saw anaconda, then went to ihop. then after that they came over to my house for a lil. when nobody was around, just me n lance in my room, he kept askin me if i was ok and shit. i kept tellin him i was, and he said that i looked sad adn shit. it felt nice that he cared. cuz i kno he does. ooo at ihop i got to read part of his journal. and it was talking about how he didn't kno who he could trust. but it actually said he could trust me. me and amanda, and that he wasn't sure if he could trust will, but he was prety sure he could trust calvin. but i felt so good when i saw that. i love that boy, i'll do anything for him, really. but anywho, so then they left. then i ended up callin justin and lauren called robert. so i talked to justin or keith for a while, while she just tlaked to him. haha we're such dorks. then she got off the fone with him, and then justin had to go. umm mon we worked on our project and hsit. got to go outsie and smoke. i might get smokes tom, weeeeeeeee!! hehe. umm then last nite i just talked to viv and justin on the fone. that was alot of fun. viv ended up bein quiet or whatever, so i got to talk to justin, it was fun. then just talked to all of them. blah well my comps bein really slow. so i'm gonna stop for now. jo - hope things get better for you. if you need any help i'm here. mick - i'm here for you also... things will get better, i promise.. just maybe need a lil time. but i'm always here for you.