hmm i almost feel kinda left out. i mean viv's got a boyfriend now, hehe i'm still so amazed at that.. not saying she can't get a boyfriend, she sure as hell can.. it's just the fact that she actually wanted one. i mean, she used to talk alot about feeling lonely and everything, and now i hope he can change that. but she's gonna have to give him a chance. and of course i'm gonna have to meet this boy. cheese is good. and courese amanda and lance are still dating. also, jennison has a girlfriend. i hear they're happy, so thats good. he deserves to be happy. he's a great guy, and i used to always be able to talk to him about such weird things, that i don't think i ever could talk to about with anybody else. i do miss us getting to have those talks. but i guess time goes on.. and you start to fade away.. so i hope, maybe some day.. i'll find somebody that i can talk to about that stuff again.. cuz i think he's close to gone from my life. even though i'm not real sure if i really want it.. but i guess it's gotta happen.. i think we both just need to move on... blahh i haven't talked to justin in a while, i really miss him. me and him used to talk about things.. he could tell when something was wrong.. he would call me... and now.. he doesn't. i mean, i kno he doesn't have his fone, but he's borrowed his dad's fone before, he just has to ask and say he's gonna call me or osmething. i mean, his dad likes me too, so i don't think he would say no. but i think he just hasn't wanted to talk to me. and that really kinda sucks.. i don't want him to stop tlakin to me.. or not want to talk to me.. but i guess i can't really make him.. i wish he would want to talk ot me like he used to. cuz me n him just got along so great.. it was wonderful. i loved talkin to him. i always looked forward to it.. and now.. now i hope he might call me.. and he never does.. now i just have to hope that me n viv might call him if we're on the fone.. and thats if he'll answer.. or stay on and talk to us.. which he really hasn't lately.. i mean, i still even wanna tell him that i had cut like, a week ago.. just cuz i feel he deserves to kno.. but i mean, he wouldn't care.. he might say he does.. but there is a difference between your actions and your words.. i just wish things could be like they used to be.. i mean, hell, he even used to say he loved me at one point.. and now.. that's just all gone.. and i think it never was true.. but the sad part was.. i believed him.. i think i even loved him back.. and now.. i look back on it and wonder how i could have been so damn foolish.. i'm tired of finding out when people say it, that they don't mean it. the sad part is, the only person that i think that has ever said it, and meant it, was probably viv. and i'm hopin she really meant it. not like in the lesbian lover kind of way. but as a friend way, and even that's not exactly what i'm thinkin of... i just wish i could be with somebody.. ya kno.. somebody to care about me.. but, i guess that won't happen. cuz my wishes never come true. after a while, ya start gettin used to it, but it still always sucks. blahh i wish i wouldn't think bout all this shit, it gets me sad kinda. not much else lately really been going on. just skool and thinkin and shit. the usual crap that i do. meh i'm already starting to get pissed at my parents. cuz last nite my dad went to some thing where the parents got to meet the teachers and crap, and my mom couldn't go, so it was just my dad. and he came home, and started askin me bout some of my teachres and shit. then he went into his room. and while i was on the comp, he came back in with a piece of paper and started askin if i had done my hw and all this shit, then asked if i kne bout some quizes comin up, and if i had studied and just all this shit. so i got pissed at him and kinda yelled at him. not like loud or anything, just kinda raised my voice a lil, and he could tell i was pissed. meh i don't really like gettin pissed off this early in the year.. but god, i hate it when they get into my business already.. i mean, it's just the second week of skool, and they aren't even letting me do things the way i want to do them and shit. and my mom had been askin a few days after skool if i did my hw and shit. i wish they would just shut the fuck up, and let me make my own damn mistakes. thats the only way i'm gonna learn, rite?? blahhhhh. alrite, well i'm kinda pissed rite now just bout thinkin bout all this shit. so i'm gonna go read. then i gotta do my hw and study and shit...