apparently viv can talk to anybody but me. that's just fuckin great. really. just lovely. i mean why the fuck can't she talk to me??? am i just so fuckin terrible??? can nobody talk to me anymore? if they even did at all?? she prefers to talk to some guy that she doesn't even fuckin like, or a guy she doesn't even kno. than me. what the fuck is up with that shit?!?!?! fuck this siht. i'm fuckin tired of it. this is the second fuckin nite she's done it. jay tells me to be patient and shit. fuck that. i'm through with being patient. wait for "her to come to you" fuck that. she won't. she never does. my only way to find things out is from other people. if i wait for her to tell me. she waits about a week to tell me after she cut. and about a month after something happens. what the fuck is up with that? i'm like the main person she has. but apparently other people are alot fuckin better. fuck this shit. i'm so fuckin tired of it. it annoys the fuck outa me. i care about her so fuckin much. i think about her every fuckin day. does she care? no. she's still pissed at me about justin! what the fuck is up with that??? it's not my fuckin fault!!!! I DIDN'T FUCKIN ASK HIM TO LIKE ME! i wasn't even gonna fuckin tell her i liked him. even if they broke up. but of course. it's so easy to blame me, rite? fuck this shit.