it seems that in my time of need... i have nobody... nobody to be there for me... to care for me.. about me.. about what i have to say.. about what i think.. i wish i had somebody around... somebody who would always be there for me. always talk to me. always listen to me. somebody who i could go to, and tell everything. somebody to always count on. but i don't... i have nobody. i have friends, yes. but they aren't around. they are friends, but they aren't really there. they don't listen. they don't go out of there way for me. they don't care. they can say things. say they care. say they listen. say they'll always be there. but actions are louder then words. those are all i hear. their actions. i don't hear their words anymore. because they mean nothing to me. if they said things, and then did them, i would believe them. but they don't. that's not how things are done. but i wish it was. i wish they were here. i wish they would care. they would listen. i listen to them. i care. i'm there. i just wished i could have that in return. whenever i need somebody, nobody is around. and that scares me. because thats how i end up cutting. thinking that i have nobody. that nobody cares. that nobody will listen. and then when i don't need them, suddenly people act like they care. they act like they're there. they act like they will listen. and thats not when i need them. when i need them, they're nowhere to be found... and rite now, i need people. i need friends. i need MY friends. the ones that say they will be there for me. the ones that say they care. that say they will listen to me. that say they will do anything for me... but are they around? no... when i need them the most... they aren't around.. and it hurts. because i have no one. and this is how my life will always be.....