i really feel like i'm being taken advantage of... not like by guys or whatever.. but by my friends.. they just come and take whatever they want or something, they don't even ask me about it.. and i try to get my stuff back.. and they won't give it back.. and it really pisses me off.. cuz i'm really tired of it.. they just expect me to do whatever the hell they wish. and i'm sick of it. i try to ask them for like, one tiny favor, and they won't do it. they'll go and say i'm bein a bitch about it or bein bossy or some shit, when i didn't even do anything. and there the ones over here makin me get them food or havin them take my stuff. and it's stuff that i actually want. like my friend lance took my two smiley face pillows that i sleep with.. and i really want them back.. and yesterday i tried to be nice and just ask for one back, and he still was saying no... and then my friend amanda ended up takin some of my smell good shit, and she hadn't even asked for it. and she took my shoes a while back, and she wore them in front of me and shit, and she wouldn't give them back. and she had taken my belt a long time ago, i kept tryin to ask for it back, and then my friend laura ended up with it, and so i'm just now finally bein close to getting it back. but it just pisses me off how it feels like they take advantage of me. i really don't like it... --------------------------------------------- meh, of course, justin won't call me tonite. cuz if we don't call him, then he like never calls us. and since viv doesn't have the fone tonite, he won't be callin. i wish he would, i wouldn't mind just talkin to him on the fone alone. maybe finally tell him whats bein goin on lately, maybe even tell him bout what i had done... cuz i mean, viv knos all thats been happening, so she doesn't need to be on the fone for it, so it could just be me and him. but i kno that won't happen. he won't wanna talk to me.. so he won't call me.. or he'll end up finding out that hayley has her fone back, and he'll wanna call her... god i hate that.. he will do that, i kno he will. cuz he wants to talk to her. but of course, me showin him a pic of her really probably doesn't help... probably just made him like her even more. and ya kno what, thats just fuckin fine, cuz i don't give a shit anymore. blahhhh. i hate how it seems the tiniest things can bring me down.. i just really need to try to find better things to look for... i always see the bad things and shit.. i need to try to stay happy or whatever.. blahh not sure if that'll work, but i can try.. --------------------------------------------- i've started to read a new book, it's called That Was Then, This Is Now.. it's by the author of The Outsiders.. i love that book. and so far this ones really good. i don't kno. i love it when i read. i just love to go away in the stories, and pretend i'm in them. that way i can get away from whats going on in my life at the time, and just go into something else. i think it's so wonderful though. i don't kno, when i read, i get happier... well depeding on what the books about, but it'd have to be really sad for me not to be happy when i read it. so i really think i'm gonna like this book. and i hope i'll like the other books that i got, cuz i went to half-price-books today to get some. i got quite a few. i like to read though. it's really fun. and you get to learn about new things and shit.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ i think i'm done writing for rite now.. i gotta go in my room and do hw.. and i'm gonna read some more..