Gemma is up in London having loads of fun at the meet and I'm sitting at home wasting my life away on the computer. Oh how stupid this is. I can't be bothered to be nice anymore. It used to feel like I actually did things for a reason, like I knew why I always fucked up. But not anymore. I'm just this pointless piece of fat taking up space in people's minds. And I hate that. So I can't even be bothered to stand up and be noticed. Except for things that I think matter. Which always turn out to be the wrong things to stand up and be counted for. Rachel