Sometimes...

by damned
11.04am
Ok, so I won't talk about things that really matter because a) hey, people don't want to/can't hear it and b) I'm in school, and it'll make me cry. Right? Er, Friday nights pretty much suck now, I'm leading this bible study group at my church, and it's been moved to Friday, which means I can't go to this youth group I usually go to. People think it's not a big deal but to me it is, I pretty much feel like everyone doesn't really care that I'm not gonna see them half the time anymore, and I guess that it makes me feel... anyway, that doesn't matter. Loads of people tell me I should give up the bible study but that's brings up a whole load of other issues that I feel like I have right now which I suppose don't really matter. Like, I don't want to give up doing it because I'd get annoyed if someone else did... I don't make sense, even to myself. I suppose I'm just being selfish all over again. And you know what? I may have totally blown it with a lot of my friendships, but I refuse to let this bug me.
Read 9 comments
you can talk about things that really matter as much or as little as you like.
i understand that it must mean alot for you to not be able to come to dm+, and for the record, i am very sad about it, i'm much less likely to go if youre not there.
issues suck
life sucks
but youre hot despite it all.
xHUGx
go ahead and say it. i wont slap you. i promise. or even have a go. or get in a stress. nothing. lest face it, ive probably told myself the same thing anyway.
but, thats all over anyway, long discussions with the guy in question have but it somewhat to an end.
and no, i dont geddit, explain.
well, the entry wasnt made to make you feel pants, infact it wasnt an entry at all to begin with, just rambled out in word then realised i should update, despite the fact i'd updated like the day before. but whatever.
but i think its probably just best everyone forgets about this little issue. well, i may not, but everyone else should. because it is silly and complicated and not worth the effort imo.
i cant remember what esle you said...
the issue being that a similar you/sam situation has occurred, but the other way round, and although the me figure has told the you figure (me) that they give their permission for any future events, i still feel i could not because that would be highly hypocritical and rather out of order to you. But, like i say, long conversations with sam figure have ensued, and it is all very much over, which is sad, but probably alot easier.
xHUGx
you may have blown it with friendships? details m'dear.
and meh, about the friday nights thing... i dont go to them and i still feel like im ok with people,honestly, you'll be fine.
love you
yeah i think i geddit.
and ok, well if you ever need to talk im here. and if you feel like crying in a corner, drag me with you and we shall cry and hug and make each other feel better together *nods*
funfun
well theres no issue of go for it dont go for it anymore, becuase, for the time being anyway, he has made that decision for me. we're sitll friends though, which is always good. i'm beyond caring about being turned down, so used to it its insane.
aye, decisions are indeed made. I think i'm probably not as nice as you think, and i probably would do what you did, especially if you hadnt done it to me first... but anyway. i suppose the decision is a good one, saves me any tricky moral ethical decision making. which is a bonus you know.
aw. Im sorry about all that stuff you kinda sorta mentioned.

we shall be friends now :)