I guess that my entries could be lacking in the quantity stakes recently. Let's just not mention the quality, alright? I guess my entries have just been lacking altogether. I just don't know what to write. Sometimes I feel like everyone is out to get me. The world is entirely made to make one huge idiot out of me. Everyone is in on the secret except me. And my friends are only acting, waiting for the moment when I slip up and they can expose me, and then the whole world can laugh at me. Maybe I'm too paranoid? But then I've had my fair share of people actually doing that to me so maybe I have a right to be paranoid? I've had more and more worries recently about people from school finding this diary. I don't mean my friends, they know about it already (well they should do, I comment on their diaries and I think they know who I am), but people who I don't really want to know what I'm thinking. I don't put that much about what goes on at school here, but I do put a lot about what goes on in my mind, and that means a lot to me. Maybe that shows you where my priorites lie. Not about the people finding out, but the fact that most of my entries are about me and my mind than things which are actually happening and affecting other people. I guess I'm just selfish. I always have been. I'm sorry that I don't pay enough attention to you three and what matters to you. I wish that I could say truthfully that I'll try and put you before me, but how can I when I have to protect myself so closely? It's bloody impossible. I know it sounds odd, but I hate to make myself vunerable. And sometimes I feel like reaching out to someone makes you so vunerable that I don't want to do it. But I love you anyway.