To be honest, I'm not that bothered about Christmas. It's never as good as it's meant to be. You get great presents, and then, that's it. So I'm just going to enjoy the time with my family while I can. The earthquake is so awful. My uncle and aunt were going to go to Bali via Kuala Lumpar and then onto Brunei where my other aunt lives. They don't know if they're going anymore, but thankfully my family in Brunei weren't affected. I feel so awful saying that though. I wish I didn't feel like my family are the only thing that matters. I hate it when people die. It makes me feel like there's nothing worth living for if you eventually all end up the same. But I can't think like that. It makes me cry, and I hate crying. That makes everyone around me upset. And one thing I can do is try and please everyone else. I have to try. There's no point in hating. You're going to die sooner or later, so be nice before you do. ----- Stop it. You can't let them see you cry. ----- 28.12.04 I went to the zoo today. It was hell.