3.30pm
Because it seems that communication has been reduced to diary entries, I'm going to follow suit. Everyone knows I'm awful with arguments anyway.
For Susie:
For one thing, I don't like Sam more than I like you. We've only met a few times, and yeah, I admit, I do quite like him, but I've been friends with you for years. And I said it was your decision to make, and now I realise that was such a crappy thing to say. That just makes you say yes, because you feel like you have to. And I don't want everything to fall apart over this. I don't like him enough to lose you over.
C'mon, we've got too many memories to let this happen. And I don't want to make you upset. Maybe he'd get annoyed with me, but I really don't have any burning need to go out with him. In fact, right now I feel like I don't want to.
[EDIT: This makes it seem like I don't like him. I wasn't saying that. I do. I was just saying that it might not be the best idea in the world right now.]
And the thing that annoys me the most? It's that every single bit of your entry was true. I wish that I hadn't been such a cow to Jono. I wish that I could defend myself and say that I wouldn't be like that. But what the hell do I know? Hence a boyfriend really not being the right thing for me. But then am I hurting Sam by saying that? I don't want to get this wrong...
And yeah, I know, I have my many faults. I just wish that I didn't do stupid stuff like this, because then I wouldn't know that everyone was talking about them.
And yeah, Ok, this makes me shake and feel all weird and nervous.
Perhaps I should just be home-schooled.
It's fine.
Add to your heart's desire.