4.49pm I don't know what to think anymore. The thing is, no-one understands what the hell I go on about, and then... whatever. There's no point. I have a paranoia and really deep rooted fear about growing old. Well, not even properly old, just thirty or forty. I think it's partially because my mum is becoming very fragile. She's quite fit still, but you can't deny that things are getting saggy (to put it nicely) and she has to be careful about certain things. For example we were saying we should go ski-ing sometime soon, but she can't actually go ski-ing because of her brittle bones. But then again, that's an eating disorder thing, not a growing older thing. I'm scared that I'll turn out completely weird, one of those people who thinks they're Ok, like not 'with it', but still Ok, and is really just embarrassing. I don't want to be embarrassing for my kids if I have any. I want to be a cool mum. But then again, I need to take an example from my aunt and uncle, who are undeniably cool. Everyone's aunts and uncles are cool though, because you don't have to put up with them all the time, because they're not your real parents. If I'm ever an strange middle aged person with a dire fashion sense, someone have the decency to tell me. Random fact of the day: On some Caribbean islands, the oysters can climb trees.