i just have no clue anymore...life is once again all a blur, mom leaving the room im in (she hasnt talked to me for 4 days/bad), dad calling mom a bitch(not good), lawrence(good), phone calls and e-mails from james(very good), school (not so good but i live), my grades (bad)...i dont know yesturday, i went to my dads and i hung out with lawrence, for 5 hours, we just wandered around, hit a park, ate at magnolia's then opted to go back to his place (mind out of the gutter, i dont believe in premarital sex) i talked to his mom and a little to his dad then we went upstairs to his room. listened to music (i fliped threw about 100 of his 400 cds), watched an episode of adult swim ("bad ass" raves johnny tribune rolling stone gives it 4 stars in cheesy entertainment) it was cool. then it was 5:30 and i got up to leave, and kissed him and hugged him, then kissed him a few more times. then i almost fell over cause i wasnt wearing my boots and hes taller then me and i cant stand on tiptoes that long, so i sat down in the chair (stupid stupid girl!!) and i ended up with his arms wrapped around me and him kissing me, that lasted for 20 minutes till chumbawumba came on, he tried to put in a cd labeled "soft", i was not feeling that, i made him throw in ill nino - lol - thats what he gets for actually using the phrase "kissing music" - he ended up listening to guys screaming instead of radiohead's song creep, lol - i love me today. anyways then james called and my mind was to all over to even think about his problems so i feel bad about that but i guess i still said something to help cause he e-mailed me and is calling me tonight.