christmas is going to be really hard. i seriously miss james. im sick of kids, and my period is late. which makes me worry because of that weekend i blanked out for two hours. captain morgan is bad. talked to jake via text last night when he got off work (around like 1:30 am, till like four thirty am) i passed out a few times on him. mom was talking to bernie from the personals last night.....i want james. everything was better around him. i cant believe i fucked up so bad.....