oh james, why must you?? you have left ratm, given up on me, and you are so heartless and cold now, what happened my love? why so heartless?? lets see in the past two days, i have cut, drank three times and gotten horribly horribly sick because of it, i dont know why but the alcohol doesnt want to stay down, it churns in my stumach and wants to come up....ive been cutting, i cant seem to stop and i want to.....i cant cry either....death would seem good, but i cant bring myself to do it.....my brother is coming home!