yeah, i really miss james. i wrote a poem type thing.....ill put it in here later tonight.....i remember just to much of it all, i feel so empty sometimes. burning takes to much effort. i bandaged bre's arm today. she called me nurse betty. she cut again. took caffiene pills today, oh so hyper, i was. and happy.....but that faded, just like james's love for me.....why did he do that? swear forever and not mean it, maybe he meant it at the time but he lied. now i mean nothing and i just want to die some nights, but im scared that theres nothing out there after that, i believe in reincarnation, and the goddess(im wierd, slightly pagan, slightly buhddist.) i dont think i believe that love crap anymore. its bullshit. american philosophy sucks.....