well, this wek is hell week, i cut earlier in the bathroom. that sucked, i dont know, getting threw today is hard, i realized earlier three days ago would have been my one year aniversary with james, that fucking sucks. so yeah, my arm doesnt even hurt. chances are ill end up with a few more cuts threw today, i dont know, i havent burned in forever. i dont even know how i feel about anything at this point, like yesturday, i was a happy little hippie chick and was soo insanely attraced to my boyfriend i was going insane, and today im all sad and shit again feeling abandoned and pathetic. i cant believe it, i feel like the biggest fuck up in the world, this weekend im gonna learn html. Zach gave me something to look forward to, a + actually, "and now you will understand more of what makes those hot geek boys you love so much, wold go around" i love the geek boys. love them love them. im gonna apply for a job at irish on grand. w00t hot irish boys! lol, i want a cute dancer. that would be cool. that would make me smile, but right now, i dont feel like smiling, or feeling, i just feel empty, and kind of weak actually, and my arm feels wet, maybe one of the cuts reopened.... that would be just fucking great, it really doesnt matter anymore i dont think, i woke up this morning and mom started freaking out and shit, blah. wheres my angel to make it all go away? hes dating someone else, and that little angel that used to live in my corner at the old house, he hasnt been following me around a lot anymore, maybe he was like my purple fairy queen and wasnt real.....maybe im not real?