dreamed about james last night, woke up crying. not just that crying out to the goddess to make it stop, or to bring him back to me. damn subconcious, i cant control my dreams, i miss lucid dreaming....i miss my best friend....i miss the gutsy little girl i was before james brought out the more sensitive squishy feelings in me and then left me alone. jake said i should have sex dreams about him instead of the nightmares, like i can control that....if i could i wouldnt be dreaming of james...