dude oh my god im like all fucking floaty and shit...i talked to james last night as i always do, and we were discussing this dream he had a few nights ago about us in the future being married and we both managed to become doctors. but anyways we ended up getting on the subject of my mom always telling me i will either be married to james, zachary, or lawrence in my future, anyways i told him that and gave him my reasons for it not being the other two and he said "well if we end up married in our future you wont here me complaining". i asked im like "what are you trying to say?" "i dont know" - "what are you trying to say" then he said "that i like you" me "define like" and he just shut up, he said "well ive really put my foot in it this time havent i?" "like me how - in the way im thinking you mean?" "yes every body knows, kristin, clayton, benny, you could call benny right now and ive liked you since i first met you, at first i jus tthought you were cute, but then i got to know you then i realized that you had a great personality and you were smart, and ive grown to love you as i do today because of who you are" awww i suspected and i thought occasionally but i always dismissed it as me being stupid...yeah but theres so much against it right now its not gonna happen...and plus i still am with lawrence and i still have feelings for him so im not going to leave him for james. bit of a shock for us last night. also lawrence told me i laughed like a pig yesturday but i think we areover this stuff...so yeah ive been staying up till about 3 am and talking to james lately and im just so fucking shocked about this... anyways i was completely truamatized monday by my guitar teacher, he completely did a 180 and yelled at me for not singing along with the song - i think im going to find a new teacher, i dont really want to sing or laugh anymore but i will survive.