you guys...man...for real, no guy has ever kept his promise to me. not lawrence not james, not my dad. guys are just...sigh, i called james moms last night because its christmas vacation, normal people spend christmas with there family, diane took a message and said he might not have my number programmed in his cell phone. when we were together all i heard about was how if he had a cell phone we would be able to talk more, im hoping this is a development thats happened in the month we were apart so completely. diane is nice, i wonder if she knows....i started burning myself again last night....my blister popped and its leaking blister shit all over my bracelets, christmas sucks. i wish i could visit jake, however his life is consumed with work like mine is right now. so we talk over the phone and text message. i wanna go visit ben...i feel better when he is around, hes so mellow and hes been threw all this shit before, im sorry mike but even though you lived with james, your not much of a help getting over him, ben says i should stay sweet, last time i saw him that what he told me. that was when the whole james thing was really fresh, like just happened, its amazing, the time just makes it hurt worse, i guess bens right it will settle down in a while, he is so buddha calm. i dont know.....sigh, blister juice is gross.....