good lord, will nothing ever go right?! i even over slept today which i dont know how i did that with my radios blaring like they were (alarm clock radios, they go off at six thirty i woke up at eight thirty, and they were both playing different songs) so yeah, broke down in tears yesturday before cleaning my room and doing my homework, sam is irritating me being all sweet and shit and it freaks me out because i dont know him that well. cut myself again last night after writing many an angry im to james. it doesnt matter it was all just an act and i was totally fooled with it. simon hooked up with this one chick (not completely sure yet but anyways) mike threatened to hurt himeself more if i died, which is stupid because he should know i dont even have enought balls to do that (commit suicide) plus not even james is worth it, where is my kayla babe when i need her?! she moved and her cell got turned off...sigh, i want my kayla, jessica is calling me grandma, i guess she calls simon grandpa, she jumped on him last night screaming, "i wanna gramma!!" it was kinda funny because earlier that day she offered to make out with me. so yeah, i dont even know, my moms all in my face for not eating anymore (yesturday i ate chips and ketchup in front of her before throwing a blanket on my floor and going to bed) my sisters never see me eat anymore and they wont leave me be about it. none of them will. james isnt going to tell me what i did that he doesnt even want to be friends with me till i fucking beg, which i actually did yesturday (which explains the current mood) oh well shit happens, ive been sleeping on my floor with my window open till about six in the morning when im so cold i wake up and get up shut the window and cuddle up to my army jacket on my bed. i burned some candles last night before i went to bed (i left them on all night) they burned out but i felt a little better this morning....now im upset again and i have tears in my eyes, bummer suck