urg i all politely asked if i could go tinight to the movie with jim and his friends benny and eric and his cousin josh, mom "politely" said no - and today i am having seriouse anger problems already so far i have cussed 2 people out and freaked out six - life is "B. E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L!!!" let me tell you (sorry guys i just really need to rant) anyways oh yeah does this blow! i was trying so hard not to get in trouble! right now jim is on the plane. me im sitting in class litteraly shaking because im always terriefied of his flying and well kindof the hurt angry feelings. you know i was fucking trying - shes got pms and she is sick. i havent gotten in trouble in months and i get the one thing i acctually love taken away. sigh - typing is so much easier when your not shaking! i could rant for hours....i cant believe it i was trying so hard not to get in trouble - i fucking almost snaped at her this morning but i didnt for 3 reasons 1> its childish to hit someone if your pissed at them 2> shes bigger and i need a place to stay 3> she is my mom yes notice # 3! even though she told me she wasnt my mom anymore on christmas eve because i went to my dads to see that side of my family like i always do "im seriously offended that you would rather go visit a bunch of drugies and losers then open presents with your sisters and me - you arent going to be in anyof the girls's memories of christmas dont you think it sad that you go visit a bunch of potheads and nobodies everychristmas ?" fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!!!! i have been looking forward to seeing jim for fucking months, since the last time he left!