i love james - i care about my ex still but not in that girlfriendish way and i kinda have a crush on another cute german guy - but james and i are more important to me so the other cute german guy i will stop at just flirting with - doo diii dooo - i actually already wrote a shit load earlier but it didnt save - fuck - anyways james told me that i was a sexy sexy sophmore last night, oddly i found that really sweet and later in the conversation he told me that i had sexy hair - im at home today my fucking sister caught lice so im washing and treating my shit and im gonna do my hair again as well...james gets home in less than a month then i get to do the cliche but extremely happy thing of running into james's arms again. james has a freshman (high school) stalker in kansas- he told her he had a girlfriend (me!) and she keeps on calling his cell phone - she wants to get in his pants (i love the way that sounds when its a girl instead of a guy, its different) but he doesnt like the poser goth he likes me the girl who cant fucking smile for pictures and whose skin is so pale i look like im wearing make-up and heres the thing im not albino! but the lights glare off of me insanely much, in fact somenights its hard to sleep because the street light reflects off my skin into my eyes....and he sits there everynight wishing he had me in his arms, but im sure he thinks the same thing about me and his acne - which i have never really noticed, i do miss jim and i wish that i could just go hug him or visit him anytime and he wishes he could hold me and tells me that everynight...im gonna go do laundry now - hope - serenity and love- caaset