meh, so i went out to pizza last night with jake. did some shopping this weekend, sat down with george orwells 1984, on the floor of barns and noble and started reading. then i quit because it reminded me of that one night at the club with james who felt completely hopeless till i cheered him up, and he asked me "how do you always know exactly what to say?" then pulled me on his lap and we discussed the world and what was becoming of it, while making out. yeah, dont know what my feeling is on that..doesnt have a word. anyways so yeah, i have a bunch of school work i should probably do but dont really feel like doing so....yup! anywhoo...will emailed me, he thinks he loves me, which is gross. sorry will, but its hard to be nice as a friend somedays. shit. anyways...yeah....i guess i laugh selfconsiously a lot when im nervouse because i did it a lot last night while out with jake, we sat there for two and a half hours figeting and talking and what not...god i wanna listen to stone temple pilots so bad! did i mention my grandma is in the hospital? well she is, shes dying and she told me she loved me, i almost cried, hung out a tiny bit with my cousin this weekend, she came to get me with my dad and dan and the babies. (liliana and elena) not enough seats in the car so, i had to sit on someones lap, god i was so grossed out at the thought of having to sit on my dads lap, he is such a sick bastard, he hits on girls my age, pedophile fuckhole! amanda, my goddess!!, had me sit on dans lap instead, which disturbed me a whole hell of a lot less, even though dans hand was on my ass half of the time. meh, he likes amanda, and i dont really like him that way. his friend seth however....lol anyways, ive gotta really dirty mind sometimes, i like talking to seth. hes pretty damn cool, hes got a good mind. this weekend was hmong new year which i didnt find out till i got down town and saw all of the costums and girls in mini-skirts and high heels (or worse those damn moose boots, uggs or something like that, yuk! i hate those moose boots!) it was slippery and icy downtown and i almost slipped and fell in front of a bus (which im sure some of those girls in the moose boots would have loved) but anyways, i didnt get hit by a bus. i dont think simon likes me anymore but he says hi (i dont initiate conversation) when i walk past, or yesturday i was going to go to the sa after missing my stupid bus and get a pop, after i walked about six inches past him said "where the hell are you going?" so i hung out instead of going to the sa, and one of his friends said i love that chick after saying hi to me. but anyways, yeah....homework and shit...whatever i dont wanna do it...