whoo still feel like shit! yet i am still at school!fuck if any of this being sick is going to fuck up my school shit- the only thing allowed to fuck with school is me being a slacker and im working on that....lifes a bitch - i am just like "AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGG!!!!!" hmmm progressive trance music is nice. fuck theres just so much to write about but i dont really want to- i just want to sit here and type...probably just random shit so bear with me...Why is it that every guy thinks that sex is the answer to getting you over your bitter loathing and insecurities about your body??? yeah i am lost at that....but its ok...i still love him, at least he is honest and i know thats not all he is after because a friend of his was all comming on to him and like told him to come over for a "good time" but he didnt he stayed at home and talked to me....im so sick right now - if i move my eyes to fast or my head to fast i feel sick - i listened to three libras all last night and i started crying because i missed him and its such a good song....tacky no??? my dad told me to stop visiting him and to just go away - i started crying as soon as we got out of the car and dad was far away...my brother suprised the hell out of me by sitting down and talking to me about our dad and shit - then he gave me this big talk on how he cared and shit and yadah yadah yadah, shocked as shit that my brother gave a crap enough to tlk to me about it - shit i know about dad and his fucking problems, fuck i was there threw his fucking crack binges when he was running around the house psychoticly ripping everything apart trying to find shit his dealer scott stole from him - i was there visiting dad in treatment....fucking brother was in florida getting high himself while i was laying on my bedroom floor praying that dad and his idiot "friends" wouldnt get busted or worse - fuck around with me while i was sleeping or lock me in the room with all that shit they were throwing around or have the cops or neighbors bust in and start shooting....i feel sick