so holy shit i remembered my godamned password! been tryin to remember that bitch for like two months!!!! damn! okay anyways - i have a new diary here - its johnnykate. so yeah, james straight up left my punkass, why because i got depressed and he couldnt take it. shit man, i would have killed for that guy to be happy i mean jesus, one day its "i love you baby please get better with your sickness and depression" the next its "its over" i was sick like with the flu, damn man i was ready to pick up and leave because he wanted to persue a military career, and he just drops my ass like that!!!! shit! Man im gonna start dating chicks or something, id probably have better luck. shit. under a vow of silence, damn teachers and there demanding verbal answers - man i cant believe i remembered the password, that password was from way back in the day. god i have a swearing problem today, to think i can be so well manered and sweet and even lovey and romantic and not swear once because he thought it was obnoxious and the next day im back to my usual self, swearin and talking like i used to in bad english. im not getto or anything but a lot of my friends used to have really bad grammer and sometimes it rubs off on you so now i can talk like a little bitch. man i cant believe i was so stupid to believe he actually cared about me and i though we could make it threw this shit, i read the old emails and man they were so hopefull, so damn loving! shit i called him angel and swore that i would always be his (compare that to my usual self - i threatened to push my future husband under a bus all the time before jim told me he loved me and wanted me to go out with him and be his wife) shit im in high school, why is it so easy to believe people? damn i feel stupid!) oh well i feel like myself again. (WHERES MY PURPLE EYE LINER AND JINCO'S?!?!?!?!?!?) damn right bitch, wheres jesse?!