i keep on feeling like the entire world only wanted me because i was lawrences girlfriend, and that iwas just a fucking freak who the boy fell for. i feel like i dont belong anywhere anymore, it hurts but ive lived my whole life like this im not gonna crack yet. i saw ben today and i just cant believe how at home i felt in his arms, he gave me his number and while he wrote it on my arm he was just so goddamned gentle with my burns (there healing very well) i said thank you for being so gentle with them and hes like- sorry im trying not to hurt them - i got so many hugs from him today, i felt so safe and accepted - nice huh - bens a huge pothead but he is just a complete angel. and i am calling james later tonight i feel all comfortable with james but the rest of the world is just....i dont even know i felt like jumping out of the car onto the high way today, i hung out with lawrence and at the end he grabbed me and said i know this isnt going to help either of us one bit but i just wanted to say i still love you and care for you, and if you ever want to try this again... - i told him i still cared but it just was not working for us....im so confused