The long weekend was a real gongshow, with the exception of Ashley coming down, the entire thing was a tremendous failure. Alex's party on friday night just didn't really get me going, and the party at Dave's place on saturday night I got too drunk on tequila and passed out early. Ashley went home early because she wasn't feeling well. Sunday I was so absorbed in the whole Kat/Dave situation that I couldn't pay attention to anybody but myself... I feel like I dicked Ash around the whole weekend because I was too wrapped up in my own problems.

The whole thing with Kat's fling has ended, she realized that it was getting to the point where although feelings hadn't gotten involved yet they were going to be involved soon if she didn't break things off immediately. It caused some issues, because she was sad that it all had to end... I think whether or not she admits it, feelings had already gotten involved, even if it was just to a small extent.

Ashley being there was a huge help for me though, I don't know how I would have gotten through the weekend without her. She understands the way I think, and forced me to do the things I needed to do, like get mad and rant and let things out.

When Ash left yesterday, everything felt like it was going to be alright.

Then Kat left me.

Apparently she did some soul searching, and realized that her feelings for me have been fading the last month or two, and rather than doing something productive about it she figured it would all be OK and decided to ignore it and avoid thinking about it.Now, its gone too far, and she doesn't really have any romantic feelings left.

I'm going to give her space... she's got lots to think about. And I agree that space is for the best for both of us. I really want things to work out for her and I thought.... I mean with her I felt something so special, so unique. I'm not going to put any pressure on us or her, I'm not going to try to work things out. I'm not going to hold out on the idea of getting back together with her. But I am going to try... I'm going to keep myself stable, and I'm going to be a healthy guy, in body and mind. I'm going to get out there and if Kat comes back, then I'm going to be happy.

I don't expect it to work like that though.

We'll see.