Am I a fool for still loving Kat? Doubtful. Thats not something under my control.

Am I a fool for still wanting to be with her? What about for all the thought I've put into whether or not I still have a chance? I feel like I'm on the verge of making a pass.... maybe not now, but once I get my finances worked out and I have a car and such.

I miss her. I miss her so much.

Or maybe I just miss the way she was. Maybe I just miss the way her and I interacted. If thats the case, I can never get that back. Its the past and it can never be recovered.

Its hard to say. And I won't know if its the past I want unless I have her again. What a let down that would be.

I'm tired, I'm rambling, but these are the thoughts going through my head......

I love her, I miss her, I'd do anything to get back to that golden age that I had with her. When everything in my life was simple, and I knew what was going on, and I knew what to expect. It all went bad all so suddenly, and its been an uphill battle ever since.

I Love You, Kat. Its stupid and its immature and its probably impossible; but I hope I get to hold you again. And I've accepted that for better or worse, that hope isn't going away.