The more time I spend with Amanda, the more I'm caught by her. Miranda makes a good friend, as I said before... but man, Amanda is digging her way into me and I'm not about to stop her.

Tuesday I was supposed to have a date with her, but ended up calling in sick.... I'd partied the night before with Kev & Kraft and $160 later we felt like death the next morning. I dragged my way through the day and slept as soon as I could get Demitri to bed.... she was very understanding, even entertained by the story of the night before.

We rescheduled our date for thursday night, chinese food & season 1 of Heroes. Just lay on the couch and relax, until I passed out... and then rather than sending me home she just brought me to bed and we cuddled and crashed. Nothing happened.... but wow, she was so comfortable. I haven't had a chance to really enjoy sleeping next to a woman in a while, I'd forgotten what I was missing. I had a few nights with Brook before, but that felt somehow different than this.... Amanda just fits.

In the morning we layed in bed for probably 2 or 3 hours just talking, before making plans for the day.... I invited her out to Jeff's show that night and we made plans to spend yet another night together.

That night we had dinner, and went off to the show... every minute seemed to make her and I appreciate one another more. Strangely enough, I'd spent the night next to her, held her in my arms and cooked her dinner.... yet I hadn't even kissed her. Weird how these things work out, huh? In all my charm, to the point that many people view me as a womanizer... I hadn't worked up the courage to steal a kiss. And I wouldn't, for a good few hours.

We went to Jeff's show, which was fucking incredible... to be honest I was unsure about whether or not he could deliver the same energy live that he does on his recordings. But he just nailed it. He was super appreciative that I showed up and brought a few people (Miranda came with as well, as she's got the same passion for music as I do) and that was nice... even though he's got wicked talent he still takes the time to appreciate his fans and the people who showed up.

After that Amanda and I just came home and laid in bed... I jokingly told her that I wasn't sure what she'd done to me, because my fearlessness had vanished. Suddenly I was a nervous little teenager again. She said that she didn't know why, that she was nothing to be scared of.... and so I took the shot.

Wow is all I can think of for that moment. It all just cascaded from there... once we slipped into the physical, it all just snowballed until we passed out naked in one another's arms.

This is what I was holding off for. I didn't need a girl who grabbed me by the collar, I just needed a girl who would wrest control from me. I've now realized that's the sexy part; I'm such a flirt and a charmer, I'm used to having people wrapped around my finger rather quickly. The ones that I can't get out of my head are the ones who won't be, who make me second-guess myself and turn me back into that nervous kid. And Amanda did that... she may not have singed my fingertips with fierceness like Kat did, but she kept her cool and wasn't tempted by me either.

I don't want to make it official yet though, I don't want to do the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing right away.... I have a trip to Calgary in 2 weeks for the SIFE regionals and I want to be able to enjoy that responsability free.

I think its pretty clear though, before too long, I'll be a taken man once more.

And it all came from an impulsive date that I didn't expect to pan out. Its weird that I never thought Amanda was my type, and that the date would be a flop. And yet it brought me here.

I'm not about to complain about being proven wrong.