Its been just over 6 months, and I really just want to be loved again.

I'm tired of all the sex. I'm tired of hookups, they're physically satisfying but I've been physically satisfied for a while now.

Even laying with Brook, its great. But her being here.... I think I realized that there's something missing there. I really liked her at first, and I still do, but I feel like its stagnated.... she's down to earth and levelheaded, but to the point that its hard for me to feel any spark.

I don't want a crazy fiery girl again. But I want somebody with passion, somebody thats playful. Somebody that can keep up with my energy output.

I want to be in love again. And I just don't think that Brook is the sort of girl I'll be able to fall in love with.... she makes me feel so relaxed and at home, she's a great person to be around. I really really like her, and I love her company. But I don't think I'll ever be able to passionately love her.

Who knows though, thats the sort of thing that just happens. Or it doesn't.

And thats my worry. I'm alone, and although I surround myself with beautiful men and women, love is the sort of thing that simply happens.

I'm just forced to sit around and hope it arrives.