I'm always baffled by how quickly things change. Life seems so reliable, it seems so stable and constant. But its not. At any time, shit can happen that completely changes your situation.
This time last week I made a post, and I felt like the top of the fucking world. It seems I may have tripped and fallen, and its a long way down.
Jackie sprung on me today that she is planning on leaving for Vancouver in 2 weeks or so. Thats right, she gave me 2 weeks notice that she's moving and taking my son accross the provice because she "needs to get into a proper headspace". Like she can't do that here. So now I have to hurry around with legal stuff to prevent her from just taking him; there's no way in hell I'm going to let her randomly move with him. I'm not against her moving, but for fuck's sake if she's making such a jump she needs to have her shit together before Demi comes out there. I told her that I'd take him for a month or two so she could get settled and then we can work out some sort of back-and-forth agreement. Which she promptly shot down; apparently she's fucking superwoman and will have no problem getting settled into a new city and finding a new job while she's got a 3 year old to look after. Not to mention that after a long fight with her, she just says a bunch of shit and confuses the fuck out of me as to whether or not she's actually going to go after all.
If I wasn't so frustrated and stressed due to everything else going on, I might try to clarify, but right now I just need to be by myself and chill.
Everything with Kristi has fallen apart. When she said that she didn't want a relationship and she just wanted to be casual, apparently that really only applied to me. She's met a guy who she feels like she COULD get into a relationship with, and thus I'm left out in the rain. And this whole thing just doesn't make sense; she says that she was starting to feel pressured into a relationship with me (mostly through other people, but I guess she saw my romance as a bit of a push) and that caused her to put distance between her and I because its not what she was looking for. But if thats now what she was looking for, where does the bait and switch of this other guy come in? I was more than happy to just be with her in any way I could, relationship or otherwise.
I feel like, one again, I've been replaced. For some reason, apparently women like me just fine until they find somebody they like a little bit more. Its a pattern that has developed over the years and I'm getting tired of it and I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
The rest of my romantic life hasn't been the best either, Mary is just too busy to go out much and with the semester nearing its end I think I would be better off just letting that romance go and enjoy a friendship.
It sounds like its time for a clean slate with a lot of things in my life. There's beauty in a clean slate, but there's also more than enough loneliness to go around.