My exams are done, and Brook is gone back to her hometown until further notice. Chrismas break has officially started in earnest for me.... minimal responsibility, lots of time to relax and dick around. So nice.

The week with Brook was pretty amazing. Next week she's invited me out to her hometown for a few nights, and I'm looking forward to that. We're still not putting any titles on this... as with everything else between her and I we're just letting things happen and not putting any rush on it. Definitely looking forward to seeing her again though.... after spending a week straight with her, I was pretty ready to chill and be by myself for a few days. But she's still been on my mind. I suppose this is the issue with infatuation.... even when you want some personal time to sit around half naked and play video games like every other college dude, you still can't help but miss the object of your affections.

Something thats made me a bit nervous is the apparent lack of intense sexual chemistry between her and I. Mentally and physically, her and I are really attracted to one another.... but sexually it doesn't really seem to have any punch. She seems more than satisfied though, so maybe its just an issue with me. I think it might just be that she's unlike any girl I've ever really been attracted to.

I've always tended to go for the center of attention women; the fiery, charismatic bombshells that every guy has their eye on. Somehow, out of all the guys looking their way I always managed to be the one that'd catch their eye. But Brook is so much more of an introvert.... she's somewhat shy, and even though she's completely beautiful her demeanor allows her to just be without people gawking at her. She's confident, but in a very understated way... no grand gestures, nothing drawing attention to herself. So whereas I've gotten used to women who will grab me by the collar and yank me down into a kiss, Brook just gives me a hug and leans upwards for one; that perfectly describes the entire tone of her sexual style.

I'm scared that I'll never get used to her way of doing things, that I'll always desire that all consuming fire. But maybe I'm just out of my usual element and it'll take a bit to adjust... like switching from electric guitar to acoustic. I'm just made a bit uncomfortable by the idea that although I've found a girl who seems to be on the exact mental wavelength as me, that I find physically gorgeous, but thats missing something crucial like that chemistry.

Or who knows, maybe this whole issue just performance anxiety.