Got in touch with Whitney tonight... apparently there was a big family issue and she essentially turned her contact with the outside world off for 2 days. She apologized profusely and told me that she still wanted to do dinner if I did, and that she'd call me tomorrow and we could figure out when is good to reschedule.
This was really good, because my imagination and self-doubt were having a fun old time with me. Even though all the evidence suggested that it was just something that had happened to completely consume her attention (which of course turned out to be true), I couldn't help but wonder if I'd been blown off. I simply couldn't convince myself with all certainty that this wasn't about me and my inadequacies. Call it selfish or self-absorbed, but I think that after all the bad luck I've had with women in the last 8 months I'm pretty justified in starting to be a bit sensitive about whether or not its me and not them.
From a purely logical point-based system, this whole ordeal has actually been good for me. Whitney now knows that I'm a calm and reasonable guy.... she disappears the night of our date and doesn't talk to me for 2 days, and when lines of contact are re-opened my response to her apologies is "Hey, don'r worry about it, I figured something important had happened and I never took it personally. I'm glad to hear you're OK.". I'm pretty sure thats a solid brownie point score there.
We'll see how it all goes.
In other news... more ranting about Jackie. I feel like this journal has turned into consistently 2 topics; updated on my love life and bitching about my roommate/mother of my son.
I'm really tiring of her passive-aggressive manipulation. I don't even know if she knows she's doing it... she just hides all of her motivations behind other explanations. She kept Demitri trick-or-treating as long as she could on halloween, saying that she wanted him to have a good time. But it was pretty obvious that he was exhausted... she just wanted more candy for her to eat. Tonight we're going to the public pool in about a half hour because Demitri loves to swim. But its so late, he's usually in bed an hour from now. Its pretty clear that she's dragging us all out so SHE can swim. I really don't get why she insists on hiding her own desires and motivations behind our son. It just doesn't make sense to me. And it frustrates me, because she won't admit it and she won't stop it. I don't want my son to be used as a tool for her, but with her constant denials there's not much I can do.
Anyways, I'm out. I'll update you peoples on how dinner with Whit goes when it finally happens. I'm pretty nervous, but at the same time, I'm feeling pretty damn confident. Fingers crossed.
~Nic