Amanda and I broke up this weekend. It'd been a long time coming, as I had begun to see about the same time as I made my last post.... her and I are just too fundamentally different. She was so happy to be a spectator, to head me explain and tell stories but never wanted to be a part of those stories. She never wanted to DO, only to hear or be told. She never wanted to discover except vicariously. And that simply wouldn't keep me occupied for very long.

School is out, I did well enough in my classes, and so I was thrust into the working world without much cash and expected to come up with a job. And I very nearly didn't. The world seemed to conspire against me.... The job I ended up getting was fine for a bit, and then some issues with administration prevented me and my team from working for almost 2 weeks... and now we're working minimal shifts in a different location (outside, in the heat, ugh). I've barely been able to pull together money for bills (and some bills will just have to wait).

Jackie, the lucky girl that she is, got handed a $13/hr job by a friend of hers.... she does practically nothing. She's a server at a bakery, with a higher wage than I've ever gotten for anything. After me spending 8 months in college and her 8 months on welfare, you'd think that I would be the one to get the better paying job.... but I suppose that there's not a whole lot of justice so whatever.

I've been relying on Jackie's financial help as far as the apartment goes, and she's not letting me forget about it.... I don't mind her tallying up how much she owes me from grocery trips, but when she even keeps track of minor things (You drank my pop and ate one of my ice cream bars, you owe me $5 more) that I get irritated. When I was doing well and she was on welfare, I never kept track of the little things. Hell, I never even kept track of the $30-$40 shopping trips I needed to make from time to time. I just assumed it was the decent thing to do... its a shame that the same isn't seen on her side.

Money situations should be cleared up by the end of the month, I've got another job interview tomorrow so hopefully I'll either be working 2 part time jobs or I'll be able to quit DSF outright in favor of a full-time position. The lack of funds doesn't bother me as much as Jackie's attitude about the situation does.

Probably the only good thing I can really say is that Vince has returned... an old friend of mine moved to Vancouver 6 years ago and I've rarely seen him since then... he's spent a year and a half in China, a few months in India, and in his time in Vancouver he's had a handful of really interesting jobs (like graveyard shift security guard in the psyche ward of Vancouver General Hospital). Vince was the only person in my history that I could ever really 100% trust, that I could completely speak my mind and act out what I wanted to without fear of being judged; at least he was the only person other than Kat (and we saw how that turned out). Now that he's back, I feel like I'm part of a team again. I feel like I have a buddy that I can count on, and that I can confide in. And its a big help.

So here I am, with a very mixed bag. Single again, for better or for worse. With my best buddy from my past again, ready to shenaniganize. Broke as fuck now.... but that'll clear up. We'll see where I stand in a month.... come July, we'll know what this summer is going to look like.