Kat,

After a year and a fucking half of an uphill battle, getting you through school, helping you with your kid, supporting you through your emotional bullshit that bordered on abuse some times, finally things have started to work out for you.

Today you got a wicked job, paying you a sweet amount of cash, and its stable. All our work is paying off. $300 of pay per shift is going to make your life really comfortable, even if you only get a shift or two a week. But you've been pretty much promised more than that. You've got 5 in the next week and a half.

Its a shame you ditched me for Dave, or else I might be able to enjoy the fruits from our labour. You couldn't have done it without me, and you damn well know it, you've even admitted it to me. I'm glad you recognize that this is not just your success, its OUR successs. But YOU get to reap the benefits and pleasuer of it all. I'm getting nothing to show for all that work on my part.

I really am happy for you.... you've been through the last year of bullshit right beside me, you deserve this. Hell, you deserve it much more than I do, because I was just the suppport, you were the one taking the classes and the tests and getting the education. I was just your support. But I was support that you couldn't have done without. You would have failed, if not outright DIED, if it had not been for my refusal to let you give up and let go.

But Fuck You for leaving me right before things started working out. I know you couldn't have predicted any of this happening when it did, but still. I'm bitter, and I'm jealous.

It will be years of education and work before I can enjoy the comfort that you're on the cusp of achieving. I'll probably be 25, with 4x the student loan burden that you have now. By the time I start living the life you're about to have, your student loan will be paid off and you'll be making even more money.

I really am happy for you. I'm glad to see that things worked out so well for you. I just wish that I could be beside you, because I feel like its what I deserve.

I guess I should be used to it by now though. Not getting what I deserve, I mean.