Browsing the internet tonight because I'm avoiding doing my Market Research proposal for class. I've got 2 other people riding on me to get it all done before tomorrow so I know I'm going to finish it, its not even that hard. But here I am online anyways.

I found a picture.... its one of those cheesy shots with the blurred background and the bunch of supposedly meaningful text on it. 99% of these are just bullshit.

This one says "It sucks when you know that you need to let go but you can't. Because you're still waiting for the impossible to happen."

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes again, like I thought I wouldn't be going through this bullshit anymore. But the picture is right. Whether I want to admit it or not, I'm still waiting for her to come back. For me to be worth it again. But I never will be, not to her.

The worst part is that I don't even know if I really miss her anymore. Maybe I just miss being loved. Maybe I just miss the way she made me feel. I'm scared that I'll never get that again. Any girl I'm with will get unfairly compared to Kat and the way her and I used to be when we were at our best. And as the years go on, and the memories get further and further in the past, maybe these standards will get higher and higher because I'm remembering them much better than they actually were.

Who knows.

I just wish that I could really be genuinely free from this.... whatever this emotion is. I dunno if its depression or anxiousness or what.

I want to feel like I'm good enough.