I watched my baby sister graduate last night, along with McKenzie and the younger siblings of many of my grad class as well. The last time I was at a grad ceremony, it was mine. Definitely a weird feeling to be there for my youngest sister, who I barely recognize after she's grown up so quickly these past few years while I've been distracted with fatherhood and other events.

I'm really proud of her. I can't really express in this post how I feel, its pretty intangible to be honest. I'm feeling strange that now she's essentially my equal; the fact that I am her elder brother means nothing but that I'm older than her. Sure, I have a few more life experiences than she does and can still offer a guiding word when need be, but given a few months of living on her own and she'll learn 90% of those lessons quickly.

I got lots of good photos (a few of them downright fantastic) of the event, and (extremely conveniently) McKenzie stood next to her for the first batch of photos (at the rockery by the school field) so I was able to get a few great shots of each of them, as well as together.

I even managed to sneak a final kiss from Kenzie before they hopped on the bus, which was nice. I wasn't expecting it but I had the hopes. That'll be the last I see of her until Rustic Robot. I'll miss her lots..... which is weird, considering how long her and I have really known one another. Its been a week tonight, actually, that we've been close... I mean we've known one another for a while, but that was simply as "That's Sarah's hot friend" and "That's Sarah's brother". Its only been a week since I stole my first kiss from her, and spent the night next to her in her hotel room before biking back to my house in the morning before Demitri woke up. And in that time, quite the crush has grown for both of us.

Who knows how much will change in the weeks between now and her return? 3 weeks ago I was still in horrible denial about Kat and I, I was emotional and volatile and unpredictable. I couldn't tell my head from my ass. Between then and now, I've gone through so much and so much has changed. My life might be once more completely changed by the time Kenzie comes back. That doesn't stop me from looking forward to it though. I don't think my attraction to her is going to change.

Kat and I are getting on much better terms these days... I need to start giving her more credit I think. In my hurt from everything that happened, I have been really hard on her these past few weeks with anything she's done. Not to say that she's been awesome and perfect, but that anything that's happened I've blown WAY out of proportion and caused a much bigger scene than was really warranted. She's actually really done her best to be a supportive friend while not leading me on... I guess I've been mad because it wasn't what I wanted, and like a tantruming child I lashed out at the outreached hand simply because it wasn't holding what I wanted. Her choices might not have been the best, but everybody makes mistakes. Her mistakes were mostly innocent, they simply caused a chain of events that broke my heart. And once she saw that, she did the best she could to comfort me while still being true to herself.

I'm still going to move on and plan my course in the intent that her and I will never get together again. I still have hope though..... at least this friendship has returned to us. In my heart I feel like things will work out between her and I, but at the same time I'm willing to admit that its probably just me being lovesick and overly hopeful. And so, like I said, I will stay the course that I am on now, unless something drastically changes. And I will not be the one to inspire that change.