Well friends, I hope it's cold where you are. If it is, then I'm sure you can relate to my nest little story of the day. If you've already heard it just skip this paragraph and continue on. So I'm walking home, walk, walk, walk, walk - fifteen minutes later I get home. My ears are redder then this background here and I can't feel them when I touch it. To top it all off, there's like a thin layer of icy/ snow on it. See, as I was walking in this lovely below -30 degee weather, it was lightly snowing. Now that sounds really nice and such, but when the snow is landing on your ear it melts quickly because of the body heat and then freezes because of the temperature outside. I feel so bad for anyone who doesn't have a place tonight or for this entire winter. Like, I had on two pairs of pants, two boxers (need to keep it warm down there) and three shirts. Plus a jacket. It's not so much my body that was cold as it was my extremities (toes, nose, ears and digits.) And speaking of keeping it warm down there, I am so grateful to the person(s) who invented that little trap door in the sleep pants. Seriously. Today I wore one of those under my dress pants and it was a lot warmer. But when it came time to do a 'number one,' I was worried that I'd be standing there at the urinal struggling because I had two pairs of pants and two sets of boxers on. Well, I seemed to have forgotten one critical element: the trap door on all three of them. Oh yea. Not only is it stylish, it's good for easy access; particularly when you're in layers. I'm telling ya, you never realize the importance or what a tremendous contribution to soceity the trap door is until you really gotta go... and it's winter... and you're in a lot of layers... ya. I should probably stop now before you all think I'm nuts. So yea, trapdoors is todays topic though I'm sure I'll ramble off into a different tangent. So how are ya doing on this fine day? Well, I probably shouldn't call it fine because I'm tired, thirsty, coldish and hungry all at once. And if you're wondering why I'm always hungry when I'm writing these entries it's because I write then at around the same time everyday and it's around the time I usually get something to eat. And speaking of which my mom has gone loco... well, either that or she's hitting menopause/ midlife, I swear. For the past four days she's baked three seperate things. A cake (for no reason), a batch of cookies (again for no reason) and a half dozen cupcakes. And guess why she baked the cupcakes. If you said "for no reason" you're wrong. Alright, I'm just joking around - you were right; it was for no reason. So she's getting these urges to bake which is crazy. Then she totally changes up her cooking style and even the menus. It's like she's lost her sense of salt. Some of the stuff she use to be great at cooking has turned somewhat bland; either due to lack of salt or lack of pepper. Crazy woman. Don't get be wrong, she's a good cook and I'm totally grateful for the food ( like I said before, I'd miss it if I left right now) but... I don't know. She's even gotten a little stricter around the edges. Nah, she's a good person, though she has her ways about her. I can see what my dad saw in her but I wouldn't marry someone like my mom. Have you ever wondered about that? I mean, like really thought about it? Who will I marry, will the person be like one of my parents... or even worse, like one of my siblings. Oh dear Christ, there's no way I'd marry someone like my sister. Too many bad memories (most which were told to me because I remembered none) of when I was a child. But seriously, what does one look for in a partner? Sometimes it might end up being one of your parents though you'd never admit it. Personally I see nothing extremely wrong with my mothers personality except she's too loud and possibly too... well, let's just say she has her ways about her (and I don't mean that in a good way either folks). But yea, I want to get married to someone nice, someone I love - someone I can "find myself lying helpless, in her arms" or how about a girl that when I look at her I can see "my unborn children, in her eyes." That's the kinda stuff I'm talking about. What about about a girl that knows about the trapdoors... ;o) I'm just messing with your head now. But seriosuly, I just want someone real, someone who knows love and won't want to divorce me after a year or two because she can't think of the future or because money's tight or... just for some stupid reason. By the time I'll be married the divorce rate will be something like one in ever three couples will be divorced. That worries me. I don't want a broken home and I don't want something like that to happen to me or my possible kids. Did you know that 60% of all men look forward to being called Grandpa? 60 per cent; I'm one of those people. You know, I want a family, and I want my kids to have a family too. I'm not looking for world domination or even to be a billionare. I'd trade that all in for just someone to love, someone to marry... someone to settle down with. And we wouldn't have to leave the world behind us, would be nice but I know we can't. I don't know - everyone keeps on saying that I'll get someone or that I'll make someone happy one day and I hope to god their right. Though I would feel sorry for my wife, now that I think about it and all. Not that I snore or anything, she'd just have to put up with a lot of garbage from me... We all know that I'm not the perfect man thus I wouldn't make the perfect husband (that is, unless the perfect husband is defined as a non perfect man... but that's another topic for a later date.) And BTW, I don't want to see any comments about how I am perfect or anything because honestly I'm not even close to it. I've got more faults then... Wow, I can't finish that sentence. Looks like I have lost my boyish charm afterall... But, you know, I'm grateful - I've found someone that makes me really happy and can get my mind off of stuff like this that worries me from time-to-time. And even though I don't see her she's still a part of my life. Now don't get me wrong; I'm not going to get down on one knee here and propose or anything... can you cyber propose?? Whatever. But I'm not saying that I discount that possibility either. I'm just saying that right now things are good and one day... out there in the distant... perhaps before the U.S.A colonizes Mars (which, by the way, they will be doing before the the turn of the next century and announcing some time this month.) But like I was saying, hopefully before the United States colonizes Mars and we all screw things up even more in this world, maybe, just maybe I'll be able to look out unto a Belt in the sky and... well let's not get too ahead of ourselves here, afterall, we are still just 16 year olds eh? Well 15-16-17 year olds, but I averaged it out to 16. One day... maybe, just maybe I'll be able to get hitched and live happily ever after. But if all else fails, well, I guess I could always fall back on writing journal entries about silly little things like Trapdoors??? Regards, -Captain B. Belt