Don't you just admire how one evening, one hour can change your life forever. That's it, just sixty seconds and all of a sudden, your life takes a left turn. I'm almost starting to think that this making your own desicion bit wasn't such a good choice afterall, Adam. Just think about it- not on a social level here cause that is the most apparent thing. I'm talking on a personal level: the choices you and I make everyday. And the thing is that we have so much power in our hands and we don't even see it; our own person is, for all intensive purposes a weapon. May not be a Lethal Weapon like Mel Gibson or even the Doomsday weapon, but we have the ability to do so much damage. I'll give you an example here. Today, one of my friends started some garbage bewteen two of my other friends which happened to include one of their boyfriends and a totally different aquaintance. Now, a really good friendship has been shipped to the wastelands for possibly a permanent amount of time, a relationship on the rocks and a few personal connections are now stressed. And here's the kicker, want to hear this one? Oh, I laughed in my head when I heard this. They did it because they wanted to bring someone down from being "too-happy." Honesty, what were you thinking? So let me get this stright - you spread information that was none of your business to get someone to stop talking about how happy they were? Are you that unhappy with your own life that you can't just let someone be happy or do you have to turn everything into mush that you come in contact to? It's one thing for a person to be blunt, but to talk out stuff that's either not true or that just doesn't need to be said is what we call a shit-disturber [excuse the french] but it goes far beyond that - far far beyond that. And I know form what I said up in my first paragraph, it almost seems like I'm commending communisim or other society's who control their citizens but I'm not because that's a very different topic all together. What I'm talking about is every person having greater control over him/her self. And whether it be because of religion, [which I promise not to get into this time 'round] morals/ ethics or even pressure I just don't believe that, as individuals, we have enough control over ourselves. Granted some do and that was a generalization for the masses but work with me here. 'cause in all honesty, it's situations like the aboved mentioned that begins to make me think that the majority of us are nothing more than self-serving, irresponsible beings who, deep down inside, have perhaps an ounce of sadistic tendencies burried away. Oh it's true, it's true. Now not all of you are as bad as this chap I'm talking about - in fact he's one of the worst I've come across in quite some time, but most of us have done certain things to qualify for at least one of the above characteristics. And whatever it may be, it's fine because it's just our "human nature" or is it? We justify us making other peolpe feeling like garbage about something that they need to hold onto by "it was for the greater good" or "I've got free will, so I can do whatever I want" and some of you (I hope none of you reading this, becuase most of you are good people) but some of you justify this form of behaviour as "it was fun." Fun? You call this fun? Can't you think of something funner [which, apparently is a word now] to do with your time? How would you like if someone stripped something of you that meant the world to you? What if they took away one of hte only things keeping you grounded and keeping you stable? huh - than what? What if they temperarily took away your mother or your best friend. You wouldn't call that fun would you? of course not because as long as you act like an arrogant idiot, you won't feel anything, right? Wrong; dead wrong. Because in the end you're human too, we all are actually [it's a revelation and I'm a genius for figuring that one out folks] and as much as any of us would like to put up a shield, call ourselves indestructable, or my personal favorite - invincible - we're not. We all have the flaws that make up vulnerable to something. Heights, spiders, lack of confidence, girls, weapons, emotions... anything, we' all have flaws and that's just the way it goes. And fully knowing that it would be irresponsible for a person to not realize what our flaws are and I choose the word irresopnsible because our flaws can directly effect the flaws of others. I'll give you an example here: let's say that right now I'm struggling with being happy, and I've been this way for years now - always have been. alright so that's my flaw and let's just say that I'm unaware of this and I don't see it as a problem. Alright and now let's say that You're flaw is your level security, you're never sure of yourself and in order to obtain that sense you latch onto various things: relationships, friendships etc. etc. So you're talking to me and because I'm oblivious to the fact that I have a problem with seeing other people happy (because I get jealous/ annoyed due to the fact that I am never happy) I shoot down everything that you're telling me is going on in your life and as a result, I make you feel like garbage about yourself. So because I neglected to analyze myself, I, wilfully blinded to the fact that I have these issues, was able to take out a vital section of your life, possibly your only lifeline to earth; you're only life line to a seemingly good life... Any of that made sense? Someone tell me that it did or else this is only making sense to me and I'm nuts. What I'm saying is that it's our duty as a friend, our parents child, a role model... as a significant other to look at ourselves and say "you know what, I'm not perfect." It's time for some of us to come off our bloody high-horses because the higher up you are, the safer you may be, but eventually you'll come tumbling down and when you do, the fall may be so great that it might just kill you.The saddest thing is that when that happens everyone rushes and has sympathy for the person who was just devestated but no one ever once stops and considers the damage that this person has caused before, the backs of people they had to use as steps to get to the high level in which they just fell. Well I'm sorry ladies, but I've got no sympathy for those people. If you're going to be irresponsible enough to never look at yourself deep down inside than I will shed no tears for you because if you're that high-and mighty, you ought to have no problems taking care of yourself right? If you want everyone to believe that you're flawless, you deserve to be treated as such. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a empathetic guy and I do have a fairly large heart when it comes to matters of tragedy and such, but this is not a matter of tragedy, this is a matter of someone's irresponsibilty coming back to nip them in the arse. I'd cry more for that movie "Jack" than I would for a person in this situation. I'd help them get their life back together and try to help them from being so self-centered and ignorant to the fact that they are ::gasp:: human, but I wouldn't feel sorry for them. Never. So figure yourself out now, the longer you put it off worse off you'll be. I urge any of you who're in this position to do this sooner rather than later; if you're putting it off becuase you're afraid of what you'll see- I gaurantee that a year or two from now it won't be any prettier, infact you'll probably be horrified, appalled and probably even a little doleful at that you've turn into. Time is funny like that: always too much of it when things are going downhill, and never enough of it when the moment is right. But that's just the way it goes - here right now but now it's gone. Never to be revistited, recaptured or done again except in the depths of our mind and in other various quantum realities... but that's another great topic for perhaps, another day. And do me a favor, if you look deep down inside of yourself and figure out that you were the cause of certain things and that in-fact it was your fault; see what you can do about correcting it and taking the blame because guilt is a terrible, terrible thing to live with in your life. Why walk around with five bricks in the bag when you can have only four and the only cost to you is a little responsibility on your part. Hey, if I'm wrong I'll double your money back within five business days. Thoughtfully, -Captain B. Business