Well, Here we are yet again, you reading these entries and me... well, me writing them. There's been a lot of nothing going on these days, so I won't waste your time filling you in on the small occurrences that really mean nothing. Granted it would make for excellent filler, but I think we're at a point where we can afford 100% beef as opposed to ground up raccoon intestines. Mmmm, intestines. School finished, can't say that I'll be thrilled about the marks I'll get, but I will be passing so I can't complain. Next year will be different - it'll have to be. But until then, it's work. That's the name of the game and so far I'm not doing too bad. Mothers Day time equaled good hours. No need to worry though, the personal time will be made up on the off seasons, so by the time it's all said and done, it'll balance out properly; I've done the math. Speaking of calculations, I've been trying to get in touch with the people who left for school and are now returning home. The energy is a little like when the knights return home from a long battle and the villagers throw a party and such... only less beards, less hairy women and more drinks all around. Funny how people can change so quickly; the little girl you once knew grew up so fast. I guess that's what happens when you leave 'em with the wolves, they become a product of their own environment and then before you know you hardly recognize them anymore. Speaking of changes, or lack thereof actually, I had the privilege of being an escort for yet another prom this year. I suspect that knowing a third of the graduating class does help insomuch that you can at least enjoy yourself around the people but still dance without worrying about diminishing what they think about you because at the end of the day it doesn't totally matter anyway. The only thing that didnt work out too well was that the person I was attending with didn't particularly enjoy the music, so I had the unfortunate pleasure of dancing with every other girl I knew for most of the night. Why was that unfortunate you ask, well she didn't fancy that much; got a little jealous I suspect. As a result the night ended quicker than we anticipated but that's alright - all in a nights work I suppose. I just wish she would have enjoyed herself more is all. So what else is going on. Work has been work. It's been a little slow lately so I'm thinking about snagging a second job for more dough, but I'll wait until June hits and see for whom the bell tolls. I really must stop using that term, it really refers to death. And speaking of death, ad three funerals to attend this month alone. No felt personal loss; extended-extended family we go to show our respect and condolences. Started thinking about getting into the parlour business actually, but my mother arduously disapproves. The way I figure it, Job security will not be a problem as within twenty years the amount of deaths, however unfortunate this may be, will increase by a staggering amount. And that's factoring in the whole 'people are living longer' trend. Forty years from now it'll be a boom. Of course that doesn't sound great, but if someone was to say that they're going into palliative care because it's a booming industry, everyone commends them. For some reason funeral directors are seen as evil people because they're making money off of the dead, but in reality someone has to take care of the arrangements, make sure it all goes well etc. etc. What cannot be denied is that it is a business, so there has to be a certain amount of revenue for the bills, the employees, any renovations, additional improvements etc. Without that there's no way they could offer the services that people need, that is, unless the mourning family will be able to build a coffin, print handouts, embalm, arrange a hearse etc. It's just the way of the world really. Another way of the world: you can't please everyone. Unfortunately some of us are unable to please the people who we should be pleasing and must resort to bribery as opposed to being nice, rational and reasonable. Of course bribery only lasts for so long until you either have to increase the payments or they stop caring about whatever you're giving them because they no longer want your compensation. Such is the case with the supervisor at my place of employment. A funny tale, probably more amusing if you actually knew all the players involved in this one. The long and short of it, the employees are slowly being agitated with her[the supervisor] and her antics. Even the people who have the utmost patience and are generally friendly have expressed outward contempt for her to myself. From my count, there appears to only be one person who does not dislike her and that would be an eccentric old lady who couldn't tell you what month it was or why the grass is green. I'm waiting for the day when the bribes of ice cream, cake, doughnuts and subs will not longer quell the grievances of the people. Thus I am waiting for the Mutiny Aboard the Night Crew. I think that before the summer is through I will get that tattoo I've been thinking about. I'll price it out next month and see if the marginal cost is worth the marginal benefit. Nothing big, trust me. I must be slipping, lately I've noticed that I am and for the life of me I can't decide if it's totally my fault or partially circumstance. Went on two dates this weekend. It was interesting. One of the only useful things I decided was that younger waitresses are 8 out 9.6 times friendly with me. Not just the general friendly that you know is because they're looking for a decent tip, and it's not the friendly where they think you're attractive, but just a genuine friendliness that can't help but make you feel good about yourself, the restaurant and the person serving you. But all that aside, I shall share how things went because it's really not that personal. The first one was 50-50. I hadn't seen her in a long time then we met out of the blue and decided we should do something one evening. So we did an early dinner at this little place I know, where I think she was a little put-off about the fact that the waitresses were being nice to us. The fact that I was carrying on a conversation with them as thy passed by or were serving us didn't help matters much. Serving - I hate that term because it makes me feel like a cripple or a person who is taking advantage of a person. I mean, I know that they're getting paid and that we offer them a gratuity at the end of the encounter, but I just feel uneasy about it. That's why buffets have a certain appeal to them, but the real principle of buffets - to consume as much food as anatomically possible so as to stretch your dollar as far as it will go because you feel that you're getting ripped off everywhere else. That doesn't appeal to me either. But then again restaurants would have to lower their prices if they turned it into a partial-serve establishment. Maybe I'll think about it. But about the date. We then to the beach where I skipped my first through eleventh stone of my life. Exciting eh? Previous to that we went to the movies where we found out that we'd have to wait two hours until the next un-sold-out showing of x-men was available. My review of the movie: pretty darn good. I mean, avid readers of the original comic series may be disappointed at the direction in which they took it, but you have to realize that they don't have hundreds of issues to create, recreate and twist the plot, so, as a reader of the original comic book I am understanding and even sympathetic to their problem. With that in mind, I appreciate the direction they took the movie and am pleased with the outcome of the film. The reality is that the actors cannot stay young, alive and interested forever, so I take my hat off to the writers. Bravo I say. Didn't think they'd be able to pull it off, but it did well. I recommends it - even if you aren't a follower of the series. As for the date, well, it was not action packed. Definite friendship material there- no more. The second date was highly anticipated, not because the first was a dud, but because I've know the person for over five years. We did Lunner, and spent three hours in the restaurant talking about everything. Again, the waitress did extremely well with handling my behaviour. We hit it off real well, and now she want to enter into something a little more serious because, in reality, this has been coming since the beginning of grade nine. The only reason it didn't happen in grade 11 was because she started dating my close friend at the time. I'm still friends with both of them, but she was his first love and as they say, you never love another quite like your first. So she's looking for us to enter into a relationship and for all intents and purposes, this is something I should want, it's what I’ve been looking for over a year. But then there are the two codes to consider. They demand that I do not do anything of this nature - that I do not betray a friend by dating his ex and that I do not betray him by even asking. They didn't end on good terms see and her name is fighting words in his presence. All that aside, I run the risk of being hung for treason if he were to know that I was even considering it. I refuse to break the code that I wrote with my own hands. Precisely who would I be if I did that? The bigger issue is that even if he were to say it was okay, which I know he inevitably would, he would still be hurt. Granted they broke up a few years ago, and he's not hung up over her but how can I do that to him? Yesterday I talked to the guy who helped me develop one of the codes, and even though he's not her biggest fan, he told me to do it, quoting the reason that for once I need to do what's best for myself and stop thinking about other people, that I'll never be happy if I always operate this way. He went on to say [ keep in mind that I'm paraphrasing here] when it comes to these situations the only people that matter should be her and me, that a relationship is between two people, that out friend would get over it and understand, especially since he has someone else now. Truth be known those are the same things she said to me when I told her that I can't get into a relationship with her. By the way, she's not happy with me right now. The other problem is that although a relationship is between two people, before it's started, the proper arrangements should be made vis-a-vis the F code; and that includes consulting her ex-boyfriends if they happen to be your friend. However when it's something this big - his first love... his first everything, shouldn't it be out of the question? The G code demands that it not even be an option - we designed that way for a reason. Yet here I am questioning my moral fiber, struggling with what I held to be right as it squares off against what my heart is thrusting me towards doing. I've already given the order to slow to impulse power and I've scrambled two response units to control the immediate reactions. Meanwhile my senior officers are meeting to work through the problem, but they're divided and arguing amongst themselves in the conference room adjacent to ops [the entire area also being known as the brain.] To be honest, I don't see this one ending pretty. Something's going to have to give and invariably I'm no winner. Is that enough to make a move out of desperation? Never. Negotiating, -Captain B. Preparing