Well, I took a two months hiatus just because I could... plus I'm thinking of actually making it a tradition. The main thing is that during the summer I do not have many happenings, so any entry I would be making would seem awkwardly forced and we do know how I hate coerced entries. You can generally tell when someone is faking it, or worse, has lost the drive but insists on pressing forward. I think I've been guilty of that in the past. Doesn't make it right, just makes it common is all. So how have we all been? It's been awhile. I shant lie, I have missed you terribly. I'm sure you haven't missed me, so I will forego any further sharing of unmirrored emotion. Oddly enough, most of my entry will deal with issues which originated today, that is to say, I haven't been preparing the topic(s) of this entry - just the entry itself. Lately 've been having some weird dreams... and by that I mean I've been remembering my dreams. Usually I couldn't tell you what went on after I closed my eyes to sleep, but I've been remembering what goes on. Like last night I had a dream about christmas, but instead of christmas carols I remember Elton John being the soundtrack to the entire dream. It was truly odd. Maybe because I haven't listened to him in awhile. But that doesn't matter. What does matter is the mistletoe. My dad and I were redecorating our previous dwelling and we dropped the mistletoe we were trying to hang over the front door. The strange part is that we never hung one out the front door but that doesn't matter. It ended up rolling across the street and I was chasing it. I was going to cross the road to get it when a car came down the street. I was stuck on the parallel sidewalk, watching in horror as I expected it to get run over by the wheels, but instead the vehicle drove over it - the mistletoe rendered untouched as it had passed between the wheels. Once again I attempted to move but yet another car appeared from nowhere; I expected the same thing and was handed the same result. This happened a few times and about after the fifth... [possibly more, as it isn't quite crystal clear] I marched across the road and grabbed picked it up. Now what I find to be most troubling is that the dreams I've been remembering are the kind that I can read into, to emerge with some kind of meaning. It appears as though these dreams go beyond the simple "You had a dream about a sub and soup; thusly you were hungry," which, generally is the case mind you, but in those situations I simply dismiss it and put on a pot of soup. Thus far my subconscious has yet to lead me astray so I'm inclined to roll with the punches and not doubt where it is leading me. Perhaps I should explain things so you can leave a bit of input... It really isn't that difficult to break your dream apart. You just have to know how to tell the rubbish from the meaningful stuff and know when to use direct and when to use symbolic interpretations. I'd demonstrate but something tells me you don't want to hear about how a mistletoe being run-over by oncoming traffic relates to the current affairs of state. In other news, I had the pleasure of watching "Pay It Forward" earlier in the month. Possibly the third time I've seen it and it really is a good film. Aside from the romance and drama between Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey, which was a little forced but all-together believable, the concept is what I am most attracted to. Imagine a world where we each took it upon ourselves to help three people. Why three? It leaves room for one failure and one helped person to disregard the concept entirely. Why everyone? Because not everyone will successful in their endevours and some of you will think I'm nuts so I say everyone with the expectation that only 50% will try and of those, less than 50% will be successful. I can't speak for everyone, but as far as I can tell, this could actually go places. For those of you unacquainted with the idea, it involves one person doing something for someone else, for no other reason but to keep the system going. The catch is that you as the doer can't get anything from this transaction, the 'something' that you are doing must be something that person otherwise couldn't do for themselves and finally, you must tell them to pay it forward. And don't just clean up your old neighbours lawn for free... Well, you technically could, I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, but the closer to big it is, the more successful you'll be. Ideas from the movie include: giving away your expensive car, helping a homeless person get off of the street, helping a person get their life together, stopping someone from getting killed/ beaten up. Now if a select group of people started to do that - good for goodness sake, could it truly spread? The idealist in me is saying that it could so work, and granted it wouldn't remove all of the worlds problems, but does it not have the potential to make it just that much more better? Of couse there's the flip side, where the cynicism starts to kick in and you wonder what it's really all for, if your existence can make a difference in this huge rat race. The Universe is so large that, logically, it seems as though one person's life couldn't really make a difference in the grand scheme of things. Even the greatest and worsest people in earth's history eventual fade away, their contributions (negative or positive) a distant memory, shuffled to the back of our minds under the heading 'useless knowledge' as we rush off to the next sport meet, date or IM. So what good can one possibly do that'll make it worthwhile? To that I say why must our actions produce some grandiose effect or be an identifiable part of a larger scheme? If that's the case why would any of us bother existing as our existence on a daily basis is mundane and uninteresting at best in comparison to great thinkers and doers of our time and even they were insignificant by universal standards. So again, I ask you why even bother existing? If your justification for not attempting to start paying it forward is because you don't wish to waste your energy on useless actions then why not just extinguish your life, for it, in comparison to everything out there is not worth living. See, life in and of itself, is a constant series of actions and if, as you say you cannot possibly make a difference than why bother continuing to live; why continue performing these actions if you are clearly incapable of making a difference within the larger picture? One truth is that anyone who provides that defence will not attempt suicide because humanity is a selfish institution and because of that, that person will continue to exist as per there being a possibility that they can take, gain and then create more for themself. That's the truth. We're not a particularly benevolent bunch of creatures, most of us will only have momentary glimmers of greatness- hiccups if you will - and even those probably won't be planned. And said person(s) who will not do good because they're convinced that their good actions will never be able to ripple outward is the same person who will act to gain for themselves and will probably negatively influence others in the process but will be so oblivious to it that they'll continue acting in the same manner. Another inescapable truth is that each individual does make a difference on a daily basis. Doesn't have to be huge, but just big enough to effect one person. And really, on a purely physical level you do make a difference, you use up oxygen and natural resources. That alone blows away the "I can't effect the world" theory. Without even consciously acting you're effecting the world, just by living. The way I see it friends, if you're going to be taking and consuming for your entire life you might as well try to do something right - don't let your entire life go by until you realize that you've been a taker; constantly subtracting from what the world and people have to give. My friends you have three people to pay if forward to within your entire life. That's all the theory asks for. If the concept is still unclear rent the bloody movie and it should become clearer than mud. I challenge you to try it. Of course you can always opt out of it and I'll never know - I can't check your homework. For some of you, this is your only chance to interact with the rest of the world and to be a crucial link in the chain - the first. Cooperatively, - Captain B. Mistletoed