So today as even more unattractive then I look on a bad day (and trust me I have a lot of those.) I just didn't wnt to do anything but I know I had to do something. Had peope all day asking me what's wrong or whatever. Nothing was bothering me though... well, nothing that I know about. And that's not a lie so don't you dare say it is. And it really isn't because sometimes what worries people is what we don't know. We don't have the information so we worry yourselves about it until we drop dead. But I guess that could be what it is - probably is. But getting back to this whole unknown thing -that truly scares us all the time. Not what we do know, but what we don't know. The unknown is truly what can be the most damaging. At least with the known we can generally prep. ourselves and try to some to terms with what's going on. Well, at least that's how I do things. I know of a lot of people who don't but they seem to be getting by just fine. Maybe if I switched mottos I wouldn't be stuck and orried about things that'll probably never happen. That line loof familiar and all of a sudden I feel like I've got a bad case of de ja vu. Oh well, as I was saying - maybe if I weren't so worried about the future this wouldn't be a problem? I'm not even too sure if there is a problem but I think this thing with me and thinking and worring and all this jibberish is partially the problem. Any of this making sense? Good, I'm glad this is because it really isn't to me. I'm not sure what got me like this yet I blame it on the fact that I'm out in the dark for the cause of this. Perhaps this thing is exponential whereby if you can't figure it out, your inability to solve it makes things even worse because not only can't you deal with the original problem, but you also cant figure out why you can't figure it out. Sometimes it may be the one problem which is causing a defect in your diagnostic systems but what if there turns out to be two seperate problems. A problem (B) which has been caused by the problem (A) creates a third and unforseen yet probable problem (C). I think this may be the case for me, but I have been called pestimistic before. Personally I don't see it as pessimism as much as it's realism. And yes there is a difference. You know there is the truth of the matter is that life just isn't that great ... live it. Wow, somehow this week my entries just haven't been what they use to be... I'm really sorry about that my friends. I'm also sorry for my late postings, my computer's acting stupid [once again] and as such I can only post these things during crappy hours of the night. That is, until the weekend comes back around and I'm able to reset things *cheers* Alright, so from there I've got nothing for ya so I will be saying goodnight, farewell and au revoir. Living the life, -Captain B. Living