REVISED AS OF 03.12.04 @ 9:40am So how are we doing today? I'm doing alright I guess; can't say that things are totally horrible. I'm still alive, things are going relatively well and to top it off, March Break has now started *hears trumpets sounding in the distance* I really shouldn't be happy about it this year. I don't foresee anything special happening, other then driving school which is another story for another day. Point is that all I've got going for me this March break is essays and projects. A good amount of my "close" friends are heading out of the country (oh look at the surprise that is) and some are under parental guard. So for the majority of the time, it appears as though it's just you and me, friend - just you and I. Anyone else out there living in canada or the u.s. who's got this week off? If you do, feel free to comment; I'm not too picky with what you put because I'm grateful just for you reading this. Alright, new topic. So let me see, whatever shall I discuss in this entry. Any suggestions? I suppose by the time you read this, I'll be long done this entry so it really doesn'tmatter as much as it would right now as I'm typing this... maybe for tomorrow. That's it!! Leave me whatever it is that you want me to talk about for tomorrow - within reason of course. Don't ask me to discuss how I feel being a father because I am not one. A little brain power comes in handy more often then you'd believe. Just don't think too hard, you might end up hurting yourself (no insult totally intended.) But back to issues of today, I think that sometimes we lose control of life and sometimes we need to just snap out of it and, to quote dodge "Grab life by the horns." Naturally I wouldn't grab anything by the horns, because chances are that if they have horns, I'll end up @ the end of them, maybe impaled. That's a little nasty business we developed courtesy of our good friends the Assyrians. I'll spare [Get it - spare, spear -impale... nevermind] you the lesson and just continue on with my ramblings. So sometimes we have to just grab things and just take control. Problem being what to do when you can't seem to do that. I'm thinking that the only thing left to do is to just turn a blind eye and forget the problems exist. Only thing wrong with that solution is that I've never been one to turn away from others problems, let alone my own. Ans so we must either fix or change the elements of the circumstances. You know, evolve or morph it into something else completely different but still resembling the old one. *ponders* You know what all of this thinking makes me wanna do? I think I'm going to go make myself some tea. I'll be back soon. Uno momento ma amigo. I have returned, jug o tea in hand and ideas in the brain... well, something like that anyway. I just looked outsideand I noticed that it's so grey and such. By the looks of thigns it has rained in between the time I got home and on here (3:00) 'til up about a half hour ago. I absolutely love when it's grey and rainy - rain makes me kinda of happy just because it's grey and gloomy, mysterious in a sense because you're not too sure if it's going ot rain again, or if it has stopped for good. The greyness just lingres and hangs over your head like... like a guilty deed you committed years ago that's been dug up by an old enemy. Where I pulled that from I shall never know. So somehow in the span of me leaving to get my earl grey and coming back I got a request of something to talk about. I was going to save it for tomorrow but I think it may do some good to go into it now - at least I'll have tonight to reflect right? Soi the request/ suggestion was my dream girl. now for starters, I'm going to just tell you that I will probably end up missing a couple of attributes here or there, but I shall try my best to not do this. Secondly I will state that I do not have a specific type. If you looked at all my ex's, the only thing they had in common was the fact that they dated me, oh and their initials (another story for another day) Point is that I don't have a tendency to only limit myself to a certain type of female because... well, because it's very limiting. Alright, so my dream girl is crazy, yet down to earth, like me but distinctly different than me. She's everything that I am and more which ultimately makes me not good enough for her but what can you do? She's sweet and gentle, but still knows when to be tough/ rough. Knows what she wants and can conjure up ways to get there. Someone with dreams, goals and aspirations. Definately no addictions or bad habits (and no, bitting your nails or cracking your joints do not constitute as a bad habits - silly.) Knows enough to know her place but still has enough gall to pull something off. She's got to have a good head on her shoulder (and I'll be the judge of that thank you very much.) Not too modest, nor too boastful. Tasteful but not overly picky, a unique being that fits perfectly into my life... in my arms. Preferably not materialistic but still maintains the realism to know what's needed. Someone who'll let me in & drop all of the acts - someone real yet somehow seems like such a fantasy that I never want to let go. Someone who I can not only love but trust with my life and more importantly my secrets. Someone who's not as secretive as me but doesn't have a mouth the size of Russia. Open but not someone who ruins the mystery. Cooperative but cutely stubborn at the exact same time. Above all of that, whta I'm ultimately looking for is Love, real kind. Not the cheaply manufactured stuff that surrounds us everyday. I realize that it may not seem very right, or that I may seem like I've got a few screws loose in the top hatch, but I swear I'm not. Oh, and one last thing- she's got to be patient, because in all honesty, dating me is not exactly a walk in the park nor is it a picnic. Physically, I'm not really too picky, love can oftentimes be blind and I intend to keep mine that way. Anywhere from 5 foot up until 5 10 will do - particularly on account of the fact that I'm about 5foot ten inches and one third... I think. What else is there? Red, blond or brown hair (in no specific order.) Don't get me wrong, black hair is cool but I've got black hair and... well, ya. She's got to have eyes that I can get lost in, you know the kind I'm talking about. I don't mean the ones that are like hypnotic because they have swirllies in them - I mean the deep ones; probably blue, green or brown. Yellow's a little odd and red... well, that falls under bad habits. As for body type, I'm not picky - dress size, bust, rear - I just don't care really and I refuse to make a decision based on something as trivial as that. I guess in a sense I know a couple of people like that from around here- a good number of people. A few variations here and there but it's not something I'd worry myself over. I know that it may seem like a tall order to fill but what it boils down to is that I want someone with personality, someone who's down to earth but still a dreamer, someone trust worthy and trusting - someone I cold live with. If you're any of those things then you're not only a shoe-in, but you've got a lot more substance to you then over half of the female population and kudos to you. So there you have it, just as you ordered. I hope it's what you requested, if not then I apologize... maybe in a sense this was somewhat therapuetic for me, what with the candles and the tea and music... definately helpful :) I guess I'll talk to you later on. Try and stay safe and remember - don't do anything the Captain wouldn't. Truly, -Captain B. Tapping