Gooooood evening and welcome to the Captain's log, located in the Sitdiary network - how can I help you? Perspective, what a powerful tool we have to shape situations, outcomes and even other people around us. Yet what we sometimes fail to realize is how often it can be detrimental to our existence without us even knowing. Take for example, the person who finds themselves continually putting themselves into a situation, fully knowing that they'll get hurt without little gain. And why? Because they're absolutely comfortable plus they've convinced themselves that nothing better will come their way. It's like that Pearl Jam song goes : Talking to herself, there's no one else who needs to know. She tells herself, memories back when she was bold and strong and waiting for the world to come along, swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone. She lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man, she dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man. She lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man... She insists on staying because well because she can't find a better man, but she won't check for a better man because she's too strung up on this loser so really, she doesn't know that she can't find something better something more meaningful. You tell me, how many people do you know that do this kind of thing to themselves? I guess that in a sense, we've all done it to ourselves at on point or another in our life - even if it wasn't in regards to a relationship. It's actually funny because I've got to stop, look at myself and laugh; at myself naturally. Every so often I'll get a little fussy and a little frustrated with situations, but by week's end, I'm always feeling right back to my old self - as though the preceding events were of little or no consequence when really, at the time, it meant so much that I couldn't even drink myself to sleep at nights *shakes head*. I'm... I've got to find some kind of stability in my life. And it;s not as if I'm staring it right in the face and just can't recognize it because, given my present situation, stability just doesn't seem to be in the cards. "you've got to know when to fold, know when to walk away, know when to run" Kenny Rogers was onto something, let me tell you. Question is if I even have anything to fold or if I'll just be folding the last remnants of what was a stifled and underdeveloped opportunity riddled with as much indecision as cowardice. But than again, that's just my perspective. But nonetheless, it is interesting how upon second consideration, the concept of perspective moves, motivates and certainly dictates human behaviour. Imagine what would have happened if Calvin hadn't had been so displeased with the church back in the day, or if Smith hadn't had seen humans as naturally negative creatures. I mean, perspective is... an awesome thing - and by that I mean something worthy of awe, not the common use of aweosme as in simply great. And even with that going for us, we always seem to let our perspective be clouded with excess facts, unnecessary emotion, attachments to the past which, objectively do not have a bloody thin to do with this situation and yet we rope it in under the miscellaneous section of our judgement - tying it in under the 'mood,' 'feeling,' and my favourite 'well-being' clause. What the hell? Let me tell ya folks, if I had a nickel for every time... And you'll say that you know you do it, but you do nothing to change it. It's as if we're too stupid, or, more accurately, too comfortable and dependant upon that mechanism within the perspective creating process that we decide not to fix it within ourselves. Yet, let our boyfriend tell us that we don't look great in that dress and we're off to the races doing everything from exhaustive activity to surgery. Bloody people. Remember the good ol' days when that didn't matter quite as much, but instead, as a youth, we frolicked around, enjoyed yourself and ended up married before twenty because you got so plastered one night that you participated in marital relations and impregnated (that's my word for the day, btw) the girl two doors over. Oh wait, you can't remember those times because there's a good chance that your family being formed was a result of that. Whoops. Of course, that did lead to quite a divorce trend... but with women's rights blowing up, being carried too far to the right of things, it was bound to happen anyway. "What’s mine is mine?" Tell me now, how does that fit into the concept of giving yourself to each other, that is you meant that in some kind of philosophical way, as in," what's yours i yours in the context that we belong to each other and are, for all intents and purposes, one unit." Because in reality - that's what the government sees you as and unless you start warming up the feeling of sharing your, by definition, life with someone it'll never work. What a concept. I am such a friggin genius Getting married to share your life... I ought ot patent that idea right now. Balderdash! People might as well see themselves as entering into a contract with some kind of corporation, because even those are more binding... Hell, the contract I sign with my plumber (who'll deal with my shit without complaining) is far more binding than this modern-day interpretation of a union we call marriage. Now folks, there is an upside to just getting drunk, having sex and getting married. See, this way guys - she'll HAVE to marry you - even if you look like a hippopotamus with squid tentacles for arms, spider eyes, moose antlers for ears and the antennae of an Oldsmobile for... legs. So guys - good luck. As for the girls... well, the benifit for you is that now you've got him in a position where - depending on the guy (but chances are if they look like that, what I'm about to say holds true) They're bound to stick around becaus which guy at that young of an age will actually walk away from you? Chances are that you're gorgeous anyway. And all that aside - chances are that if you're from down south, your dad owns a shotgun... so enough said. As for the quality of the union... With the rates they are these days, I'm forced to say that you're probably better off because one leads to two and I'm sure your imagination can do the rest. Besides, conflict and tough situations usually lead to some form of understanding - wait about nine months to a year after these hurricanes; New Orleans baby population'll spring up like there's no tomorrow; almost makes me envious of the adventure experienced by some of these people. No, not the sexual relations, I'm referring to the mystic and romance surrounding an event as such. I wonder just how many relationships form because of kids who arbitrarily meet up in a shelter, or hide-out, haven etc *ponders* Back to marriage though. Now we have this overly subscribed to theory, a silly notion really, of the perfect partner. How touching. But while you're out there searching at thirty-freakin'-two because you've dated(in the traditional sense) a grand total of twenty-five people, oh which you slept with sixteen, needed to pay for abortions three to seven times (that goes for you too guys),and only being serious with four for about a year and a half, each; than realizing in each of them that she talks too loud or perhaps his Adam’s apple is a little too predominant, you leave, to possibly end up in your parents house (because you never left), but more likely in your over-furnished apartment or in the house you just bought but can't seem to fill with any joy - while all of this is going - the population of the world isn't getting productively larger. And don't even get me started on all the dead weight we've got hanging off of us; bloody old people. Back to the tale, so you won't marry until you're mid-thirties, because guys, no older woman'll want you 'cause you're not rich and you can't last over a half hour whereas she's the Energizer's new mascot (what with Pilate’s being as popular as they are) and the young girls, unless they're atypical, will want to have fun and then at the age of twenty-three, reform their ways to become one of your ex-girlfriends who dumped you because you either forced the matter of marriage too soon or weren't serious enough about life back then. So you're in your mid thirties - can't spell commitment if your life depended on it and you'll have one, just one kid - though 23.14% of you will adopt because you won't be able to due to the previous abortions or simply because it just isn't possible. Now you tell me - two people producing one kid... that's only half of what we need to sustain the earth population. And now you're thinking "I'm so smart, what about the Chinese, east Indian and Africans... they'll have plenty of kids." I ask you this though, do you really want a power shift that'll send the east into an extremely superior position? And as for Africa... remember what I said about productive? Seems to me that what we need to do is three things. First, remove all sources of birth control from Ireland - they'll populate the planet twice over if they had enough room. Two, we open the immigration boarders to the Irish. Third and finally - have a pretty large disaster that'll make everyone appreciate the comfort of their partner more so than now. Not necessarily a full world war - but just something to act as a catalyst. Follow those steps and your on your way to restructuring the west... that is, if the war doesn't rip us apart first. And now, if you're like me, you may be wondering, or may have already wondered how we got from the topic of perspective to me telling you your future(right or wrong) and discussing ww3. I know I am. And the answer is simple. I do that sometimes and I think I’m entitled to because if I can't wonder aimlessly when driving, walking, talking, conversing, essaying, or anything else, why not do it when expressing my thoughts where t doesn't really count? It's all relative I tell you - relative ought to get back on topic though. You think? You ought to. I've been thinking of a comment left with me from a stumble-by reader. I haven't had the guts to write her back, but the whole meaning of life concept really got to me. I looked up some older work and realize that many explanations just didn't work for me. Some were off in left-field, or so obviously broad that they encompassed everything from snails to comets I started to wonder if they're really even trying anymore - thinkers that is. Too much bureaucracy, even in thought. But I'll put something together. Chances are that she'll figure it out before me, but I can accept being beaten by someone pretty, so it's all good. And it's weird, in this enter I as kind of a jerk, yet I felt oddly right writing it. Or at least like a settling into position. Maybe I ought to be a critic, or a journalist. I played with that idea at one point; when sizing up my future decided against it because I don't have the necessary talent. So for now, I torture you poor souls... you poor, poor souls. Repent and denounce me - it's your only ticket out of here. Or just drop a few extra bucks into the collection plate and we'll call it even. Apologetically, - Captain B. Crusading